I have enjoyed this Father's Day. It has been like many others but my mind has been thinking a lot about the amazing role of father. Actually men in general are really great.
The father's in my life are kind and good.
My daughter spoke in church about fathers. She said so many nice things about her dad and her husband. My husband has been a joy to raise a family with. It is a definite pay day when an adult child praises her father and the many things she learned from him. It sure makes me grateful to share parenthood with a great man.
He is a really great person. He is hard working. He would do just about anything I ask of him. He is putty when his daughters ask. Maybe that is part of what I love about him. He holds his sons to a high standard and teaches them how to be a righteous man. He loves and respects women and is so good at being a goodly man. He works hard and he plays hard.
I love that we each have our roles that are different and honor the strengths we have. Because he provides well for me and appreciates the things I am able to do in caring for our home and family, I am able to have time to create beauty which brings joy.
As Elise shared, he loves Lake Powell. He has always been good at water skiing and loves boating. What we have found out though is it is not about him and having what he wants. He willingly and patiently teaches our children and grandchildren to love the boating life. He drives boat. He works hard to offer a lake vacation. He quietly keeps buying more fun toys to play with on the water.
He also loves a good, competitive, thinking-required game on a Sunday afternoon. He is too serious for my taste but he has taught the kids to think things through, to accept losing, to keep playing even when its not as fun in hopes that you might turn things around.
I guess in life he is like that. He does his best, works through disappointments, and keeps his eye on the goal. He has a gift for making things just a little bit better. If its worth doing, he wants to do well. If its worth building, he wants to build it to last. Its always good to be prepared and pretty much anything can be fixed.
I continue to learn from him and to feel his love. I feel safe and loved and appreciated and grateful when I think of Mr. O.
(warning, a bit of a rant ahead)
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| obviously this hedge is threatening her roses and need that big chunk taken out of the middle |
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| These are the precious rose garden that is intentionally being killed by bees because I planted a hedge too close to our wall. |
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| And here is my patient and hard working husband doing what he can to keep the peace. |
I have recently had another unwelcome lesson on being a neighbor and being patient and forgiving. I have a neighbor next door who like to write me messages on messenger when she wants to complain. It is usually masked in some sort of "we like you but would you..." This time it is "how are you and your family. I hope all is well. Your bushes that have been near our wall for 15 years are now attracting bees that are killing my tea roses. Now that I have decided the only place in my big corner lot yard to plant my tea roses is under your bushes I expect you to trim your bushes back and re-do your sprinkling system so that no water will reach my roses." Granted these are not her exact words but they are what I hear. Obviously all bees are bad for roses and the only reason that bees would come to her yard is because of my bushes (cotoneaster). And obviously we are the ones at fault and it is our responsibility and duty to adjust our yard to fit her concerns.
In an effort to be nice I trimmed the hedge at the property line. In an effort to let me know I am not meeting her expectations, she came across and cut branches out of the middle of the hedge that were an inch thick because they were connected to some smaller branches that she felt threatened her roses or the cinder block wall between us.
I was angry and felt violated to find my hedge butchered by her way beyond the property line. When I wrote back to ask her to not cut my bushes again she called me unkind and started quoting "A soft answer turneth away wrath"? Then she accused me of being weird because it was pageant time.
It was again one of the oddest conversation with crazy reasoning but with one continuous theme saying that I/we are in the wrong.
(enough, back to fathers)
I know the desire of my husband is to protect and provide. I was wise enough not to share with him the gritty details of her crazy. I did ask him to do what he could to adjust the sprinkler. (Especially since now there is very little hedge to block the water from coming over to her roses). He spent a great deal of time with sweat dripping off his nose to move this sprinkler and adjust it. I know he did not do it for her. He did it for me. I am so grateful for his servant heart.
He is a great example to me. As I try to work through the anger and ill feelings, listen to talks about forgiveness, I get to see him simply moving forward, doing his best, serving others, sharing his talents and becoming better each day.
The men I know are like that. They are tough, strong, capable. They are also kind, gentle and thoughful. They want to be our everything and they make great effort. They give so much for their kids and their wives. They work hard every day to provide for their families and then they come home ready to teach, protect, love their family. It truly is a beautiful plan of happiness.
I am sorry to have been petty and irritated with Ellen but I am finding the balance of standing up for truth and right. I am grateful to not have dragged my dear husband into the details and let him stay above the fray. I am not sorry for anything I have said or done. In fact, it has given me lots of time to consider who I am and who I want to be as well as the kind of person I do not want to be. She often says we are good neighbors and she loves us. I can not return those words to her. I wish she wasn't our neighbor and I struggle to like her. But I choose to be kind anyway. I feel mistreated by her and would hate to see how she would treat us if she didn't "love us".
Hoping for a better day tomorrow. Life is good and I have a good husband and father to my children. God's plan helps us in families be the best that we can be.
