Peace.  I continue to want to learn about peace but I also feel it is so far from me right now. So many things are in limbo. 
Peace is not limbo.
But in limbo I can find peace.
I have a new calling that is now official.  It happened in a unique way, in a unique time. 
On March 8 I was called into the bishop's office and given the calling of relief society president.  I am so grateful for his assurance that this calling came through prayer and inspiration.  That this is what the Lord wants for me and for our ward at this time.  I cried.  I hope someday there is a calling that I get excited about but my experience has been fear, overwhelm, questions, and doubts.  None of those things bring peace.  Peace is a place I have to come to.
That sacred morning my bishop left me with my husband in his office.  I got to have my fall apart moment, receive a blessing from Milt, and then dry my eyes and enter sacrament meeting. 
That was our last sacrament meeting as a ward. 
After 7 weeks of trying to prepare, learn, listen, submit counselors, seek peace, ask questions, cry a little more, plan family events during a time of quarantine and social isolation, navigate the media searching for truth and direction, finish a semester of school, celebrate my 55th birthday, start a new semester, and  then finally have the calling become official by way of an email sent out to the ward that I happen to have missed for the first 24 hours.
I crave peace.
I need peace.
I feel like this has all been an exercise in finding peace amidst the storms. Feeling peace in the upheaval. Seeing peace in the hope that comes through faith. Trusting that there is a plan and that someday I will understand. Believing that I am taking the next right step and that it will all work out.

I am finding peace
- in beautiful spring weather
- in plenty of good food
- in an app that reminds me twice a day to pause and give every thing and every one to Jesus
- in good people who believe I am capable of filling this calling
- in amazing women whom God has chosen to work with me as we serve the women and families of our ward
- in health, order, resources and even the handbook.
But it takes continual seeking to find, trusting and remembering in Jesus and his love for each of us.  As I rely on Him, He will not let me fail.

Easter 2020

I received this invitation Saturday evening.  When I suggested it, my family went into action and made beautiful happen!  It was so fun to bear testimony.

We gathered up our plastic eggs. We didn't have candy for the eggs and no plans for an Easter egg hunt.  We still had fun but writing notes for each egg (He is not here, He is risen, Jesus loves you...) and then hid them around the yards of our kids homes in town.  It was sneaky and fun.

Easter morning we were out the door in time to enjoy the sunrise. We went to Pioneer Heritage Park, enjoyed the view of the sun, temple, clouds, color and beauty. We sang songs, read John 20 and just enjoyed the quiet time here.

These two kiddos are such great sports. They are fun to be with and bring such joy to every day.  After we read about the resurrection, we had them race down to this spot for another picture.  The winner was these two that Jesus loves. 

Sweet rolls for breakfast. (no cinnamon)

We shared one Easter basket and also were surprised by an Easter lily from our neighbors.  It smells wonderful. It is my first ever and I like it.

Easter bunny offerings and an Easter lily with card from Arnoldsons

This is our second year of the tradition with a red egg.  It is dyed with yellow onion skins, turns this beautiful red and represents a story from when it was illegal to be a believer. The believers used a red egg to share their testimony that He is risen. The matriarch of the family shares their testimony and the egg is kept all year as a reminder of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. This year we read Grandma Marilyn Peterson's testimony. Sure wish we could have had her here too.

We enjoyed a meal of ham, potatoes, asparagus, jello, rolls and strawberry shortcake.  Since we all live and work together, it made sense to celebrate together. So very grateful for family both close by and those we get to talk to wherever they are.

It is also Maddie's third birthday. She is a sweetie.

Samuel, Natalie, Gideon, William

Natalie, Jared, William, Thomas

Simeon and Debbie

Corona Virus

It has been such a unique and interesting month of discomfort and adjustments.  It seemed to come on so suddenly--all these restrictions and closing down of so much of 'normal' life.  We watched as church was canceled, school, restaurants, all gathering places for sports or entertainment, temples, parks, public restrooms. Fear of even pumping gas. Rationing at the grocery stores. Limits to how many can come into the store, how close you can be. Plastic sheets installed between costumer and cashier.

Through it all we have stayed safe and sane.  I am so grateful that we have always kept a well stocked pantry. We are use to being home and spending time together.  School on line is not completely new.  We have been blessed with all the resources to have church at home.  We have family close by that we share games, movies, and conversation.  We have been able to reach out to friends and those we minister to in new ways.  We have felt the joy of uniting together as a global community to fight against the spread of COVID19.  We are united in fasting tomorrow that we may find relief, that the virus will be controlled, that those care taking will be protected, that our economy will recover, and that life will become normal again. 

People are scared,  worried, some sick, some dying, some paralyzed with all the what if's, or how will it ever be normal again questions.  I feel again the joy in having chosen the word PEACE for my focus this year.  I never dreamed that so much unrest could surround the whole world with a global pandemic.  I am happy to be able to see that I have found the source of peace. The Prince of Peace is available to all. As I look for peace, study peace, listen for peace, I am grateful to feel peace in the storm, to feel the calm in the midst, to feel the strength of God in all of this.  I know God lives. He is in his heaven and he is with me here. He is glorious.  I have no need to fear.

I heard from a dear friend in Switzerland that she has had the virus. Though she had a milder case, her husband was hospitalized for 17 days and reached critical condition before things finally turned.  I got to hear her sweet experience as she testified of the power of prayer and a loving Heavenly Father.  Faith and prayers of people from all walks of faith uniting together to ask for help and protection.  And He hears and answers our pleas.  

We are enjoying a campaign from the church #hearhim and amazing General Conference this last weekend where we received a Proclamation on the Restoration, were able to participate in a worldwide Hosanna shout, receive God's word through His servants, the prophets and many other inspired speakers with the peace that comes when we prepare questions and listen for the answers.  

I love my Savior Jesus Christ. I love being a member of His church.  I love my life, my family.