any value in staying home?

I made applesauce today.  You make it out of apples, cut up, blend, cook in bottles that seal and then you have applesauce ready when you want it.  It’s not even hard but does take a little time.

Why would you care about applesauce? Because for me it is a symbol of a stay at home wife and mother. A symbol that says I take care of my own by giving of myself, my love, and my knowledge to add value to my family and our experience together.  I don’t even like applesauce. But I love my family. They like applesauce. I make applesauce and I get to see them smile.It’s worth it.

I am currently enrolled in BYUI Pathways Worldwide.  I am in my second semester, fourth week. I am taking The Eternal Family for my institute class and Professional Skills.  I am having a hard time understanding how they go together.  We are learning about the doctrine of the family and studying The Family, A Proclamation to the World where we read about marriage, gender, divine roles and responsibilities. These are things I have believed wholeheartedly and have given my life to living and teaching these simple principles. I have experienced the joy of sacrificing for my family and I have been greatly blessed when I prioritize my role as wife and mother. I have felt the support of my husband as he sacrifices by providing for our family and supporting the efforts we both make to create opportunities and experiences to help our children, as well as each other, to grow and develop. We have acted in faith that as we each fulfill our individual roles to our best ability, things will work out.  And they always do.

Now I am taking a class on Professional skills where I feel like my time and sacrifice for my family have been a waste of time. Thirty five years of being a homemaker and raising up a righteous family do not count.

We had a sister speak at stake conference who had just finished the Pathways program. She loved it, learned so much, could help her son do his math.  She talked about how it saved her because after all those years of raising children, her brain had gone to mush. Now she was learning and doing things.  It turned me off right from the start.  I joined Pathways despite the feelings I had after hearing her, not because of them.  I felt inspired to trust this program and continue to learn.  The difference being that I never felt like I had stopped learning.  This was to be another path to more knowledge and understanding.  

I appreciate the experience. I am learning new things and things I knew before. My frustration comes in the little pricks that tell me I am not enough. I don’t have experience. I don’t have marketable skills, I don’t have things to put on a resume.  When I plug in the numbers for their charts to see the benefits of getting a degree, I get a negative answer because I have not worked, do not earn money and want to retire in 5 years when my youngest graduates from high school. And for me retiring means I just won’t have children at home.  I might be free to go on missions with my husband but I imagine there is still much to do running a household and family.  

I am tired of so much of the focus being on improving income. Yes we need to provide for our families but getting an education is so much more than just that to me.  It is a sense of wonder, accomplishment, understanding, discovering connections and conclusions.  It is a depth of meaning to this great world and the people in it.  It is how to improve communication, relationships, add value to the world and improve my life experiences and hopefully those around me too.

I don’t believe that in our modern world we do not need women in the home.  Being at home is not a forever vacation.  I take it very seriously.  I get up and dress for the day. I have regular responsibilities and projects. I create an atmosphere of love order, routine, fun, belonging, and safety where all are welcome and we all progress together. I volunteer with my church, community, at the temple, as a ministering sister, as a mother, grandmother.  I feed my family real food made with real ingredients that nourishes and strengthens not only the body but also the mind and the soul. We live on a budget. We learn to have fun at home. We don’t require expensive vacations.We learn to work for the things we want and for each other. I am an example of active living, hard working, nature appreciating, continual learning and discovery. We need women who know how to be a homemaker, to love being a homemaker and to continue to appreciate the amazing things that can happen when women give their best to this sacred and divine calling of wife and mother.

If the goal in earning a degree is so that we can get a job, who is going to do the full time job I have been doing for 35 years? Who is going to take care of my family? My home? Who will have time to help the neighbor? Greet the grandkids after school? Work in the temple? Take a meal to the mom who just experienced a miscarriage and the dear friend who just lost her mother? Who is going to be the virtuous woman? A degree can help us do those things better but not if its purpose is to take us away from home.

I am concerned about the example we are setting for these next generations.  So many feel the need to have two incomes.  They feel the need to limit the size of their family so they can get on to more important things that “make a difference in the world” (career).  I wish we had more women who love being feminine, claiming the power that comes from our strengths, our life view, our ability to love and serve.  I wish we had more men and women who honor and cherish the roles of men and women as complementary and good. In fact, God given. 

Let’s remember who and whose we are. Let’s remember why we are here and what is really important in the eternal plan of our loving Heavenly Father.  Let’s take the time to ask him what is needful, what he would have us do.

Who is going to raise the children in a family? Do we want or need the government or large companies to take over feeding our children, providing daycare, after school programs? Who will have time to coach the soccer teams? Who will be available to supervise when the neighborhood kids want to get together or even help them learn to make friends and play fair. Who can young moms, moms of teenagers, moms planning and preparing for sending missionaries or planning weddings, or dealing with disappointments turn to to discuss, feel heard and maybe get insights about life’s challenges?

I wish there were some way to calculate the value of a woman at home.  Child care, meal prep, laundry, housekeeping, decoration, nursing, tutoring, repairs, health instruction, sex education, financial planning, work ethiic, gospel education, taxiing, interest surveys and talent support, sports and physical fitness, healthy homemade meals without preservatives and other unknowns.  What is the cost to the children when there is no mom in the home.  Even my adult children continue to receive strength, comfort and help because I am at home and available.  They are also respectful of my interests and schedule but I have the freedom to be flexible because I am a woman in the home.

I am supported by a husband that values all that I do for our home and family. He sees the fruit of investing in home and family, sacrificing the accolades of the world to bring goodness to our home, family and community.  Investing in education that betters who I am without counting the monetary increase that might be realized. I am grateful for our ‘old-fashion’ values that are actually timeless truths that bless family living. After all, educating a woman educates the whole family IF the woman is there to be with the family and it is never a waste of education to devote your best to your family.

Good Bye House

My dear friend Laurie's mother in law died this week. My sil Lauri lost her mother last week.  My mil recently and rather suddenly decided to move out of her home next door.  This was the home that my husband grew up in. The home that I was first introduced to the Olsen family and culture. The home that we visited and stayed in when we traveled to Manti. The home Milt's mom died in 30 years ago. The home his father died in 4 years ago.  The home that use to be a second home for us but with a second marriage and other children claiming it, it become just the neighbors.

Its funny how we come to love a place because of the memories and it can be hard to say goodbye. Change invites reminiscing and I am grateful for the fond memories that my children have shared. Even when really nothing has been what it was for years it was still Grandpa's house.  So this second wife is moving on.  She is not one to get attached to stuff but she has not been one to throw much out for years and her family has enjoyed the free storage space too.  They are mostly just tossing stuff into a trailer and hauling it off to the dump.  The house is returning to its bare bones.

Tonight the young men from church along with their leaders went over with a trailer to clean out a large 'chicken coop' shed that was filled with forgotten stuff.  Stuff that may have had a story at one time. Stuff that maybe could have been useful to someone else. A treasure. But none of it really matters.  Just like so many things in this life, we move on leaving the old behind and finding a new way to live and do things.  It leaves me a little sad to think about the past memories that are so easily forgotten, the items that spark memories to life again, and the need to just let go and look forward.

We can't go back to our childhood.The memories must be preserved and cherished without holding on to all the old stuff.  We will look forward to change and growth.  We will watch this house be sold and become the home of someone else so they can make their own memories.  We will look forward to new neighbors and the hope of a family that will love their new home and be a joyful addition to the block.

Good bye house. Thanks for the shelter, warmth, memories and love.

baptism

On May 15, 1829, Joseph Smith asked about baptism and authority to baptize.  His question opened the restoration of the Aaronic priesthood by John the Baptist to both Joseph Smith and Oliver Cowdery. John then directed them to baptize each other.

One January 7, 2020, my youngest son, Simeon, was ordained to the office of priest in the Aaronic priesthood by his father.  He, too, has the authority to baptize.  Today I got to go with him to the temple to participate in baptisms for the dead. 

As we waited for our turn I noticed on the wall a scripture quote from Joseph Smith-History 1. It said,

He commanded us to go and be baptized, and gave us directions that I should baptize Oliver Cowdery, and that afterwards he should baptize me. Immediately on our coming up out of the water after we had been baptized, we experienced great and glorious blessings from our Heavenly Father. (Pearl of Great Price 56:70)

Simeon and I entered the font. Milt was in the position as witness.  He patiently showed me how he would do it and we began and were able to do five names.  He humbly and meekly baptized me.  I left the font and his good friend Matthew entered and his father became the other witness.  Matthew had also recently been ordained a priest.  Simeon baptized Matthew for five names and then Matthew baptized Simeon for five.  I stood there dripping and trying to make a mental memory of those two good friends baptizing one another with authority from God, similar to Joseph and Oliver over 200 years ago.  They each had their fathers, also faithful and worthy priesthood holders, watching over them and silently cheering them on. 

As I reviewed the scripture, I can't help but hope and believe that we, too, are experiencing "great and glorious blessings" immediately as we have the privilege of regularly participating in temple worship and seeking to live God's way daily.  I am full of gratitude and pride in opportunities that are available when we walk the covenant path. . . especially with family and friends.

Texas family time

We were able to organize a weekend get-away for all 4 of us to Dallas, TX. We flew there and stayed with Emily and Brian.

But before we left and after Simeon got over his stomach flu, we were able to get him ordained to the office of priest in the Aaronic priesthood.  It is a privilege and responsibility that he takes seriously.  We love celebrating his desire and worthiness so we invited all the family that could to come participate. He was ordained by his father and all these good men participated in the circle.  I love knowing that we are surrounded by men who honor and share their priesthood power - just as God designed it.

Then we left the next morning to travel to Texas.  We arrived in the early afternoon and headed straight to Emily's to see her cute family.  We got to visit and catch up (reacquaint with Ella and Evie) and then went to Dan and Steph's for dinner where we enjoyed some Texas BBQ and good visiting.  No pictures though.

Emily had prepared her home is such a kind way to be the queen of hospitality.  She had food prepped for quick delicious meals, had rearranged the bedrooms so that her family was in one and mine in the other. She had moved her own bed into our room so Dad and I could have the nice bed, and it was very nice.

The next day we headed off early to beat the traffic and visit Waco, home of Fixer Uppers Chip and Joanna Gains.  Milt also had a job to do there. He took off to work and we had breakfast at Magnolia Table. Good food and nicely decorated.

We then headed over to Magnolia store and Bakery.  It was so fun to experience the Silos and the atmosphere of come and stay and play and enjoy that they were able to bring to that area.

We got an early start also to try and stay ahead of a severe storm warning.  The weather was warm-ish and windy.  It felt great to us.

Of course we stopped in for cupcakes at the bakery.  They were delicious. Simeon and Debbie had watched the making of the bakery on the drive here and were impressed to see it in person.

We headed back home as the wind continued to gain force.  Before we got home the tornado sirens were going off.  Once we got home we enjoyed the safety of the house and balcony. Tracked the storm online and then settled in to play a new game Skull King that might be a new favorite

The lightning, thunder, and rain were the show for us. Luckily the tornado never quite made it.

But the next morning it was SNOWING in Texas.  We figure they did a little bit of everything for us.  By that afternoon it was blue skies but still a little cold for Texas.

We also got to go to the Ross Perot Museum.  It is a 4+ story natural history museum that was kid friendly and fun for everyone.  We actually only had 1.5 hours and would have enjoyed more time.  Emily's family ended up converting their tickets to a season pass.  They will have lots of fun.

Ella and Evie didn't even know to be scared

The museum was so fun and educational, inside and out.

 

We ate at Torchy's Tacos which was so very good. I got the trailer park hillbilly style, a favorite was the republican and all kinds of names that give no hint as to what is on them.  All were delicious. We checked out Buc-ee's gas station which was actually a destination that we spent some time at, enjoyed the jerk and the fudge and gawked at all the stuff with laughs in between.

Some favorites were visiting their ward for church, meeting some of their friends and also going to see their new home still under construction.  We miss them all and wish their family well.

I do wish we had taken more pictures of more of the memories we made.