Happy Tuesday

Days have been busy lately but not too busy. Each day has a few things to accomplish and a few things that I get to choose along the way. It is a good way for me to find balance. Tuesday has been Young Women's day.  We have our board meeting in the afternoon and the dear sisters I get to serve with willingly give that hour so that we can together be edified, trained, and organized.  I pray that the meetings feel worth the time.  There are times when I don't know what we need to cover or if we really need a meeting but every time we do it out of obedience to counsel given and things work out, topics of importance are covered and we women are able to connect and be on the same path heading the same direction.  It is amazing the comfort that comes because we sustain one another. Not only comfort but power to magnify our callings.

At 6 we went caroling with the YM and YW and delivered fruit baskets prepared by the Relief Society. It was very cold outside and we had arranged a hay wagon to sit on and pull us through town. Afterwards we had hot chocolate and donuts.

Isaac and I left before the caroling was done because we had an appointment with the patriarch.  Brother and Sister England were delightful to visit with.  They welcomed us into their home filled with peace and light and Christmas cheer. Isaac had his recommend for his patriarchal blessing for 2 months and had not made an appointment.  Monday night he called and by Tuesday night we were there.  He mentioned that he had put it off wanting to think more about the blessing in preparation but that when we said it's time to call and move forward he had realized that he was ready to have this experience. We began fasting at that moment  and by the next night had fasted more than 24 hours in seeking the spirit for this special night. Isaac wore the suit given him by his Grandpa Peterson and looked very much like a preparing missionary.  He humbly listened with intent as we visited and discussed patriarchal blessings. It has been fun lately to read him articles in the church magazines each mroning as he gets ready to leave for early morning drivers' Ed.  He listens with that same intensity that brings understand and creates a special learning opportunity.

My cough has been acting up again and gets rather insistent at times.  I thought I was ok but part way through the blessing my cough took over.  I had to leave the room and was rather distracting in my hacking in the other room.  I was a bit sad and embarrassed.  Sister England came to my aid with water and cough drops.  Milt said it was a bit distracting to the patriarch and he had to work hard to keep up his concentration.  Not only did I miss part of the experience but I made it harder for everyone. I felt bad but there remained a spirit of love and understanding.  I can't help but wonder why it happened but I also have this quiet thought that says God can make it all work for good.  Maybe the patriarch having to listen harder to the Spirit helped the blessing. Maybe as he reviews the written version, additional insights and thoughts will come to him. I will trust that God is in charge and the experiences we have as we are seeking to be obedient are exactly what we need at the time.  With God, nothing is impossible and he will ensure that Isaac receives the guidance and direction in his patriarchal blessing that will lead him to fulfill God's will for him.

I have an increased desire to live daily increasing my hope and faith. I want to get really good at recognizing and obeying the Holy Ghost.  To do that I need to repent daily and to forgive daily.  I need to study and ponder and seek learning.  I want to be better today than I was yesterday.  I like to think that  I can be just a little bit better because I am a little bit smarter in my choices and a little bit more worthy to receive charity, to allow charity to lead my actions. I am ready to begin my Happy Wednesday. Just another ordinary day with a few things to do and a lot of love to spread.

shepherd and sheep

I get to teach the young women in church today and our lesson is "How can I help my less-active friends return to church?" We are our brothers keeper. We do have the responsibility to look out for one another and love each other.  I have enjoyed studying the resources and preparing.  I have been reminded of the great blessings that come from being an active member of Christ's church. Active is a verb and there may seem to be much required but it comes with such huge blessings.

As it is Christmas time I wanted to tie in the season and my thoughts have gone to shepherds.  They were the first to receive the good news, first to see the babe lying in a manger and then they went out to spread the good news.  These same shepherds were the ones entrusted to watch over the lambs that would be used to sacrifice in the temple.  Christ is the good shepherd and we are each sheep of his fold.  He knows us by name. He would leave the 90 and 9 to come find us when we wander. He loves us and wants us safely in his fold where we can enjoy the blessings of his love and protection.

If we are sheep then we have the responsibility among the sheep to help each other. Sheep tend to follow one another. Am I following the shepherd so that those that follow me will be with him too? Am I loving the way he does - every single sheep? Am I offering encouragement? strength? help? direction?  Am I one that warns of a dangerous step? or helps someone that has fallen?  I don't think sheep are like chickens with a pecking order or need to establish their place in the flock.  I believe they easily welcome any who want to be there. Our Savior invites us to come follow him. We can help him by following him and his example.  We can invite others to him and he can love them right where they are.

Enjoy this video of the good Shepherd

Lead me, guide me, walk beside me, help me find the way.  That is what we can do as fellow sheep - we can fellowship our family and friends. We can lead them back to safety. We can honor their agency and share the good that comes from living the gospel actively. I can be a fellow sheep and walk along with them.
I'll walk with you. I'll talk with you. That's how I'll show my love for you.

feeling overwhelmed, less than

Yes it happened again.  When I get a big calling I really try to do my best. I read the handbook. I reach out and surround myself with amazing and strong women. Then I start to doubt myself.  Am I doing enough? What am I missing?  Can I just back off for a while? Can't we simplify? do less?

I am the young women's president. I have been for 1 year now.  We just finished a successful week of girls camp and everyone seemed to feel loved and had a good time. The leadership was so good and the young women themselves were cheerful, helpful, participating and fun. We did some fun activities that really brought the girls to think about others.  My favorite was the secret sisters.  We finally decided that secret sisters could be simply drawing a different person each day and writing them a nice note.  It taught all of us to look for the good in others and it was so powerful to receive a nice note each day.

I came home grateful for the experience but I felt that I had distanced myself from the others.  Maybe I was a little "wowed" by their greatness.  I don't know but once home I jumped into family business and had to miss YW's on Sunday as well as the activity on Wednesday.  I felt even more the outsider.  I really don't want to have to micromanage everything. I have complete trust that things went just fine.  The problem was the nightmares I started to have.  I try to sleep and feel that I have forgotten events and people, especially young women and their activities and responsibilities.  Night after night I wake up in the middle of the night wanting to cry, not knowing what to do to fix things, feeling overwhelmed.  By morning I can't remember what was so important.  It seems we are fine and then nights are hard.

Well finally this Saturday I was feeling teary and desperate for help.  I finally took off to the temple to do initiatory work.  I cried in the dressing room hoping I wouldn't be heard. I cried during the ordinances. I cried when I was changing again but then it was a grateful cry.  Some beautiful things began to happen and I listened to the words and promises that were shared.  I went home determined to fast and pray for help.  That night I still had the same nightmare. I continued praying and fasting.  I shared my confusion with my presidency. They were sweet and want to lighten my load but really they already do so much.

I continued to prepare my lesson, attend ward council, gather my family for church with my husband out of town again.  Ike got called to the teachers quorum presidency. We walk into church and I say hello to the people in the foyer, one of which is a member of the stake presidency.  He pulls me into a room and asks me to speak in stake conference in 2 weeks.  I did not fall apart. I said I would speak and went to sacrament meeting. I continued to feel calm but surprised.  I definitely do not understand the Lords way of answering my prayers.  What I thought would be best was to release me from my calling or something that would lighten the load.  Instead Heavenly Father said you are doing fine and to show you I think I'll give you another assignment.  His ways are not my ways but I definitely would like my ways to become more in line with his ways.  I want to trust him more, lean on him more, do everything I can knowing that he will make up the difference.  Now I am studying the gospel and learning more areas that I can improve. I am preparing to speak for just 5-7 minutes but the blessings I receive as I prepare will be wonderful.  I am being tutored by my Savior in the way His church works and how we can all help one another.  We each have our own gifts and ability and he is willing to work with us to further His work.  I would love time to do my own things but I will trust that for now a busy calling, a busy family, a talk to prepare are important and what I need.

Sunday night = no nightmare

Grateful:
691 Heavenly Father hears and answers my prayers
692 I don't always understand the how or the why but I can learn what I need to do for my next step
693 Its zucchini season and smoothie season
694 I picked fresh raspberries for breakfast
695 visiting teaching 2/3s done

a new calling

In our church we accept callings.  We are willing to recognize our leaders as called of God and having stewardship over our ward congregation.  We don't ask for or aspire to positions.  We wait and trust that the Lord knows what is best and will reveal to our leaders the proper order in our ward.  Youth group leaders (young mens and young womens) are expected to be very good with youth.  They have a huge responsibility to be good examples, wise, humble, prayerful, with lots of good ideas, energy, and talents. You do not apply for the job or prepare an amazing portfolio for the very important position of shaping and guiding our next leaders.  You simple say, "OK, I'll do my best".

Normally a president is called.  They are given time to learn about the program, time to prayerfully select counselors and then together they begin this new journey with youth and parents trusting that you will in fact, learn the ropes and do your best and be an influence for good.

Sunday was not my day to play piano in primary.  In the summer we take off for cub scouts.  My responsibilities were few.  My baby girl is turning 8 next month and I went with her to visit with the bishop about her upcoming baptism.  I had not even a hunch that my life was about to change.

After the bishop finished talking to Debbie, he turned to me and shared how the Lord had told him very strongly that I am to be the new Young Women's president.  I cried, expressed my fear.  He gave me a steady look and said, will you.  Despite the immediate doubts in my ability or desire for such a position, I said yes.  Girls camp is in 3 weeks and he does not want to mess with anything else so he asked that we not change anything in the organization.  An hour later I was at a meeting about girls camp and then in sacrament meeting where my name was offered and sustained. During Sunday school I was set apart and by the third hour of church I was in young women's class and attended a class presidency meeting afterward.

My mind has been whirling.  My heart pounding. My eyes leaking.  I wonder how, and what, and why.  The amazing part is that I am feeling a peace.  I almost fight the peace and feel like I should be in a crazy panic but there is a sweet peace that says it will all work out.  My family is already very busy with lots of wonderful events.  We have a baptism with lots of family coming.  A missionary farewell with lots of family coming.  A new grandbaby coming in 3 weeks as well as girls camp.  My missionary leaves the end of the month.  To finish this month we have guests coming to stay with us for pageant and my sweet daughter is bringing home her boyfriend to meet us and he and his family will stay with us so they can also attend pageant.

Each time I list it all out I think "AAAAyyeee!".  But I don't feel it.  I feel like it will all work out.  I don't know how but I want to focus on the peace and move forward daily with steps that bring order to my life and create balance.  I want to learn to manage my time better and to certainly not just manage whatever is loudest at the moment.  I want to celebrate my missionary and maybe do his eagle court of honor also.  I want time to prepare my daughter for her baptism that it may be a very important and special step in her life that she begin with understanding and with increased testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ.  I want to support my bishop, magnify my calling, create unity in my presidency and in all the young women's program and I want to make sure that I always take time to prepare each day to have the spirit guiding me because I have taken time to study, pray, and journal every quiet whisper he blesses me with.

Other than a few goals to get accomplished by the end of July, I'm enjoying the lazy days of summer.  I might have to make another batch of Popsicles.  Maybe I'll delegate that one.  :)

Grateful:
651 The Joyful Burden of Discipleship 
652 That amazing women are blessing my life
653 amazing Young Women are entering my life and inspiring me
654 Tender mercies that are simplifying my day and it happened yesterday too!  Traded principle part dates with the other Lucy.  Cabin suddenly available for an extra friend and her family.  Thoughtful friend that volunteered to cover at tonight's pageant dinners.