a word

I have enjoyed in past January's choosing a word to learn about, work on, implement and enjoy.  This year I have become increasingly aware that I don't like to say yes to commitments.  I have made covenants, vows and changes in my life.  It is actually the little things that I have a hard time committing to - such as a favorite color.  I usually leave myself an "out" in case I change my mind, in case I find something else I want to do, or in case I'm not good good enough and we find someone else who is better.

Yes, you are right.  That is silly and weak.  I'm realizing this and thinking that maybe my word for this year should be "Yes".  I should be willing to just say "yes, I'll be there," "yes, I'll do that for you", "yes, I really like that look".  Then I remember that I can't even remember last years word.  I had such high hopes and good intentions.  I put a word out there and confessed/committed that I would be working on that word.  So then I doubt myself again.

There comes a time when you just have to say okay.  I'll do it.  I'll make a commitment.  So once again, I think I want my word to be Yes.

Yes,  I will.

Yes, I can.

Yes, I do.

I'm still doubting but I am thinking that with faith and guidance I can say yes to only the best of things and then count on my Heavenly Father to enable to me keep my Yes's true.

So then I realize that we have become a family of 'good enough'.  So many times I stop a project or goal saying, "that's good enough".  It didn't bother me so much because it allowed me to make course changes along the way.  I could use the excuse that my own judgement of 'done' was enough.  It bothers me when I see my children settling for good enough.  It hurts to recognize that they may have learned this mediocrity from me.  My last exercise program was a 12 week weight lifting program.  It hurt at times.  It was hard. It felt like more than I needed but I practiced finishing the reps. I said yes to finishing.  It was foreign to me but it felt right.

So our family word for this year will be finish.  Be a finisher.  Finish the eagle scout. Finish the goal of saving money.  Finish cleaning the whole bathroom.  Finish the laundry by folding and putting it away.  Finish the kitchen clean up to include wiping counters and sweeping the floor.  I'm getting a little excited about the possibility.  We could really get some good things done - all the way.  We will develop good habits and I will learn that with my yes comes a commitment to finish.

So in my effort to keep life sweet and simple I will seek out good things to say yes to. I will understand what is expected or have faith that the outcome is worth whatever may be encountered along the way and then I will say yes or no.  "Maybe" is not longer an acceptable answer.

And when I make mistakes I will simply repent, forgive, and move forward.