The elementary here does the Leader in Me program and uses the 7 Habits of Highly Effective Kids. They have a good program and are teaching some great skills.  The kids did a great job of emceeing and portraying the different habits.  Debbie's singing group got to perform and she did a great job.  She sure enjoys performing and being with her friends.

and for the rest of it, I want to blog again.  It is healing to me to put down in words my thoughts, hopes, questions.  I want understanding and peace.  Sometimes god answers our prayers through our exercising faith and doing things. I have found that often answers come as I write.  As I questions and wonder or even at times complain, the words often come around to a place where they are teaching me.  I love when the trials come full circle and I start to understand.

So I look fine. I have gained the weight I lost so quickly. My hair has grown back so that no one notices the large scars.  I am walking straighter. I can think. I can talk. I can read and enjoy doing so.  What I continue to struggle with is the physical. I feel weak.  I get worn out easily.  Yesterday I tried to mow the front lawn. I have a self-propelled push mower and it is normally easy to use.  Knowing that, I thought that I could handle the front lawn.  The leaves needed cleaning up.  I like mowing.  I had to empty the bag often. The up and down and lifting and pushing took its toll on me.  I got dizzy. I got wobbly.  I got emotional as I was unable to do a simple thing.  I worry that I will gain unwanted weight and I wanted the exercise.  I even worried about what passers by thought. Would they think I was faking my weakness because they had seen me out mowing the lawn?  Did anyone understand the effort and sacrifice? Did I want them to?  No.  I just want to feel good and be able to do things when they need to be done. It has been 2 months and I am really doing well.  I have been blessed to heal quickly and well.  Am I being ungrateful? Should I push more? Should I slow down and enjoy this down time as the gift it is?  People have been so patient and kind.  I would like to be kind with myself. I don't know what that looks like.  I still judge with the old eyes of the old me. Taking time to slow down and I think I am being lazy. I want to understand better what is right for me right now. I want to show my gratitude for the healing I have received by being a good steward and yet I am not sure what that looks like.

 There are a lot less leaves all over my front yard. Most of the leaves blow in from other yards so depending on the weather me may have to deal with it all again.

Maybe I need to go back to an old goal of mine that wants to get better at intuition.  I do want to be in tune with the promptings of the spirit.  I want to really do what is best right now and be grateful in the process. I had thought I might put Debbie in public school because of my healing time but she has been a huge help and comfort to me.  I pray that there are important lessons she is still learning in the process of helping me and being patient. She is also learning to govern her own time a bit better.  I would miss her so much if she were gone all day. I don't think we would be as close to one another.