Amen

I think I have been feeling these things too. I want to get rid of the distractions in my life and my mind and my heart. I want to recognize the beauty of the moments around me. Please read Karen's words to which I say "Amen". Then you and I will both better understand my quest for whole living.

 A new word for me:
ev·a·nes·cent   /ˌɛvəˈnɛsənt/


–adjective

1.vanishing; fading away; fleeting.

2.tending to become imperceptible; scarcely perceptible

Celebrating Passover

While Easter is a special time for us, this year we got to celebrate Passover also. Our scholar group has been reading The Diary of Anne Frank and delving into much more than just the book including cultures, history, other groups that have been persecuted. It has been an amazing 3 month study.

Eve put together this fantastic event for our kids. They had a script with explanations. They all participated fully. I thought it was great. Tall one thought it was the longest meal of his life. I believe it was a memorable one that each person will be grateful for.

The Seder plate with each symbolic food was tasted and remembered. The matzo bread was home made.

Eve and her husband, Lance acted as the parents. Once the "ceremony" was complete they all enjoyed a full meal of matzo ball soup, turkey, vegetables, funeral potatoes, veggie trays and an array of desserts. (I do realize that the actual meal was not even kosher - meat and milk in the same meal- but it tasted great.)

We also had a special guest come that had been raised in a secular Jewish home. She explained her own heritage, Jewish costumes and taught us some great Jewish folk dancing - both Yiddish and Israeli.

"We cannot call back time that is past, we cannot stop time that now is, and we cannot experience the future in our present state. Time is a gift, a treasure not to be put aside for the future but to be used wisely in the present."

Thomas S. Monson, "Dedication Day," Ensign, Nov. 2000, 66

 
I am enjoying a fabulous weekend of Thomas Jefferson classes and stake conference.  I have a huge desire to use my time more wisely and enjoy each moment, especially those spent with my family!

Strengthening Our Families, Chapter 4

Chapter 4 Chastity and Fidelity in Marriage and Family Relationships
Stengthing Our Families, An In-Depth Look at the Proclamation on the family.

Because I have friends who are dealing with infidelity in their marriage my eyes are seeing this chapter in a whole new way. I'm not really sure how to share this except by sharing a few of the quotes that seem to clarify and inspire me and my desire for virtuous marriage.

Chastity, fidelity and intimacy are expressions of social, emotional, spiritual, and familial commitments and feelings. . . When philosophies of intimacy focus on the act, they miss the mark of understanding relationship-based and commitment-based intimacy. p. 50.

But for marriage to be a blessing to us, we must give ourselves away. We actually marry for ourselves only to the extent we are committed to the other and to the next generation. . . Without fully giving our hearts to our spouse, we do not qualify ourselves for the blessings available to us when our mate gives his or her heart to us.  p,51.

. . . . our sexual feelings and involvement must be a matter of agency, for the Lord issues commandments and sets boundaries for our exercise of our procreative power. (We are not controlled by some natural man instinct but are responsible for the way we use and express those desires. Men do not 'need' pornography, it is a choice that leads to addiction and destroys families.)  Thus, perfect love casts out lust. p. 54.

In the section titled: "Marriage: An Obligation and and Opportunity, but not a License" When lust characterizes marital sexual relations, it is likely that it is an expression of unrighteous dominion and the intended blessings of the physical sharing are not realized.

There are so many misconceptions about sex taught in the world today and through media that many people are confused about what to expect and truly miss the beauty that is or can be their gift. Some implicit or explicit false ideas:
1. Sex is normal and natural for everyone. To be human is to be sexual.
2. Sexual involvement is to be expected among the sexually mature.
3. Sexual expression is a need.
4. The loss of virginity is an essential feature of growing up and an event to be celebrated.
5.Those who are sexually experienced are now "real" men and women.
6. Affection is preferred, but not necessary prerequisite to sexual involvement.
7. Those who make premarital sexual involvement a moral issue create unnecessary guilt in adolescents and unnecessarily stigmatize them. p.55.

Truths: Chastity and fidelity begin in the spirit, not in the body and involve the giving of our heart--our broken hearts, our softened hearts--to our mates unequivocally. . . For husbands and wives, there can be no fulfillment in any endeavor or activity without such willing mutual commitment in love. Lust is always a thought and act of the self centered, the self-consumed.

A key feature of infidelity in marriage is chastity.  That is, marriage partners not only refrain from sexual thoughts and desires regarding others, but their own relationship is not tinged by self centered, lusful initiatives.  The qualities of marital sexual involvement are exactly the same as those characterizing any nonsexual relationshp that proceeds according to covenant: the qualities include patience, gentleness, kindness, love unfeigned, charity, and so on.  The depth of the love and fulfillment in such a relationship is unbounded.  The practices in marriage do, however, have boundaries. The marriage license is not a license for licentiousness.

It is an invitation to act in each other's behalf as the Lord intended and with the opportunity to contiue generations of His sons and daughters on earth. p. 57.

senior boys number

The senior boys of show choir do a special number. They chose Taking Care of Business and had a lot of fun representing different careers. My son is the farmer. I'm sorry it is in pieces and not great quality but use your imagination and, if you know Pete, you will enjoy picking him out in his hat. Always the gentleman.

Chapter 3. Preparing for an Eternal Marriage

Strengthening Our Families, An In-Depth Look at the Proclamation on the Family

As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints I truly believe that marriage is ordained of God and that marrying in the temple with proper authority can lead to eternal marriage. Our family life need not ever end. Knowing of and hoping for eternal marriage gives an even greater responsibility to choosing someone you want to spend the rest of eternity with.

The most important things that any member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints ever does in this world are:
1. To marry the right person, in the right place, by the right authority, and
2. To keep the covenant made in connection with this holy and perfect order of matrimony. p.32

 I am very blessed to be married to Mr. O. He is an honorable man of God who seeks to provide for, protect, and lead our family in righteousness. We have been married for almost 26 years and are still very much in love with each other. He is not perfect yet either am I. We enjoy one anothers strengths and look for the good in each other which somehow makes the weaknesses nearly disappear.

My concern now turns to my children as they prepare for marriage. I want them to understand the beauty and sanctity of marriage, the fun and joy of family life, and the importance of choosing a partner that has also been preparing by keeping covenants, setting high standards and developing in ways that will bless their future family. It is often advised to be the kind of person you are looking for. . . we should marry someone "who has achieved physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual maturity." Someone who has self-control.

President Hinckley said, "Choose a companion you can always honor, you can always respect, one who will complement you in your own life, one to whom you can give your entire heart, your entire love, your entire allegiance, your entire loyalty." p.34.

While you are looking for that someone remember that you won't find a perfect one and only person. Look for someone who is developing the qualities you are looking for and who values the things that you value.

A few more great quotes:
Elder Ashton:  True love is a process.  True love requires personal action.  Love must be continuing to be real.  Love takes time.  Too often expediency, infatuation, stimulation, persuasion, or lust are mistaken for love.  How hollow, how empty if you love is no deeper than the arousal of momentary feeling or the expression in words of what is no more lasting than the time it takes to speak them.

As we save ourselves for marriage, sex can take a bigger piece of marriage than it was intended to.  President Kimball gave this advice to a young couple.  Love in marriage trancends sex.  Your love, like a flower, must be nourished.  There will come a great love and interdependence between you, for your love is a divine one.  It is deep, all-inclusive, most comprehensive.  It is not like that association of the world which is misnamed love, but which is mostly physical attraction. . . The love of which the Lord speaks is . . . faith, confidence, understanding, and partnewship.  It is devotion and companionship, parenthood, common ideals and standards. It is cleanliness of life and sacrifice, and unselfishness.  This kind of love never tires nor wanes.  It lives on through sickness and sorrow, through prosperity and privation, through accomplishment and disappointment, through time and eternity . . . You must live and treat each other in a manner that your love will grow.  Today it is a demonstrative love, but in the tomorrows of ten, thirty, fifty years it will be a far greater and more intensified love, grown quieter and more dignified with the years of sacrifice, suffering, joys, and consecration to each other, to your family, and to the kingdom of God. p.36.

To summarize . . . one needs to be a "right person" as well as find a "right person" p. 39.

When it comes to making this most important decision it is advised that a person:
1. Live worthy of inspiration
2.  Exercise agency and inspiration.  In selecting a companion for life and for eternity, certainly the most careful planning and thinking and praying and fasting should be done to be sure that of all the decisions, this one must not be wrong.
3.  Ask in faith.
4.  Seek multiple witnesses.  (look for those moments that verify the answers you have been given)
5.  Discern between inspiration, infatuation, and desperation.
6.  Confirmation should be sought by both.
p. 42.

My prayer continues to be that each of my children will carefully prepare, look forward to marriage and family, and prayerfully enter into these sacred covenants with hope of raising up a righteous family unto the Lord.  There truly is nothing more important or rewarding than raising a family with a companion who is united in purpose with you.

Junior Prom

Jarle was quite excited about Junior Prom - a very American tradition with our own Manti spirit in it. He looked very handsome in his tuxedo and found it very comfortable to wear. Being the mother of the boys, you don't always get to see the couple together. Jarle's date began at 6am with the girls in his group getting him out of bed for a great breakfast. His day included a scavenger hunt, a limo ride to Salina for dinner, the prom dance, and a special showing of Alice in Wonderland.

Peter was a great sport to go to prom again as a senior. His date, Charly was a beautiful girl from school. I did see them together for a minute at the dance but but missed a picture.

His group went shooting then came back to our home for games, a nice dinner and then let the girls have a few hours to get ready for the dance.

At the prom you don't do the promenade with your date. You are assigned someone according to height. I think it is too bad that they don't dance with their dates because they have taken time to color coordinate their formal attire and the couple look so much more put together when they match. In our small town the juniors transform the gym and all the parents with additional guests come to watch the promenade. It is a bit of a social event for the whole community. It is always nice to see modest dress and compliment those with such good taste.

This picture Jarle looks nice but the second one I look better so I posted both.

And here is a small taste of the promenade. Peter was on our side dancing with a girl in pink and Jarle was at the other end of the gym with a girl in purple with a white jacket.