Thanksgiving day in pictures

 Pies for breakfast.  We had 23 pies or so pies, apple, cherry, razzleberry, quiche, banana cream, coconut cream, lemon, pumpkin, pecan.  It was all great

 Skeet shooting while we finish up dinner preparations.

 Remembering missionaries and "For Health and Strength" played on bells, blessing by Grandpa, filled out plates and headed downstairs where one U shaped table, beautifully decorated, sat all of us.

 This big chalkboard filled to overflowing just like our lives and the many blessings we have been given

 We cleaned up dinner, watched Ramona and Bezus ( a very cute family movie), played games and went home very satisfied.  This year we had a Thanks tree for blessings and a Giving tree for acts of service we give or see.  Nice idea that we will continue.

/

Play, bake, feed

 Sounds like our plans for the weekend too.  Tall One was in the school musical.  He had a great time as a dog catcher and butler, dancing on the streets of NYC  and mostly being with friends.

We went to see it with the middle school and then again Monday night.  The kids really did love it.  They have been quoting it and singing "The Sun'll come out, Tomorrow".  That night performance is a bit past bedtime though so they improvised.  We parents got to sit between the sleeping bookends.

We have moved on to Thanksgiving preparations.  That mostly means baking pies.  We love pie and the more choices, the better.  This years list includes cherry, razzleberry, pumpkin, banana cream, pecan, coconut cream, twix, Reese's peanut butter cup, and lemon meringue pie.

My little helpers each made their own pie.

 Then they moved on to making bird feeders.   After the snow that came last night with tempts dropping today, I'm sure the birds will be very grateful for a little more food.  (Hang on branch pine cone spread with peanut butter and rolled in bird seed.  Very popular with the feathered friends.)

Now we are all practiced up for the real day of play, bake, and feed.  Happy Thanksgiving.

• first real snow fall
• Doodle's costume for dance class (Sleeping Beauty dress with Mickey Mouse ears and snow boots)
• cell phone's with loved ones on the other end
• Christmas playlist on the ipod
• projects in the kitchen
• traditions for Thanksgiving
• Grandparents next door when 6yo goes sleep walking
• old movies

clean carpet = joy

I have learned along the path of my youth that clean is good.  You need to keep things nice.  You need to clean your toilets, the house, the car, yourself.  Although I have friends that I love with many different standards of clean and I accept and love them where they are, I am a lot harder on my self.

When we went to the MTC and my car was filthy I was trying to let that stewardship be someone else's but it only bothered me when it wasn't done.    The next day I washed, vacuumed, and cleaned out the car.  No one else seemed to notice but I felt so much better.  Crazy but I once again had value because my car was clean.

Last week after my vacuum broke, my computer wasn't working, my carpet cleaner broke, and several other big ticket items I called the carpet cleaner and got an appointment.  I cannot tell you how happy clean carpet makes me.  I had been feeling down.  I felt discontent with my home - the worn paint, the dirty windows, the spots on carpet, the tile looking dingy, the wood floor so very neglected, the furniture worn.  I was wanting to replace everything but didn't know with what and definitely do not have the resources.

Clean carpet has brightened my world!  It has inspired better standards working with what I have.  I am getting rid of more clutter.  I'm cleaning deeper.  I'm scrubbing tile on my hands and knees and thinking that if I beg, plead, and promise then maybe there is some way I can redo my wood floors and restore that great investment into something of value.  Clean carpet has me washing window treatments, looking at each room with new eyes and getting excited about creating beauty.  I even removed the upholstery from my glider and am washing that.  Hopefully that works, if not I will have one less piece of furniture to dust and vacuum.

I am amazed how much my own self worth is dependent on the way I keep my home.  When I feel good about my efforts, when I create beauty, peace, and a sense of welcome I feel like I am doing something of value.  As a woman I need to create.  I need to create children, beauty, order, memories, nourishment, fun, love, comfort.  My home is where I do that.  It may seem shallow to have something so temporal as the order of my home to influence me so much but it is where my stewardship is. If my place is in the home then what I do there is a reflection of who I am and the kind of job I am doing.  A man can lift something heavy, fix something big (like my car), provide for his family and he feels needed, valued, and successful.  There are lots of outside measurements for the things men do.  At home I don't have the outside influence giving me a paycheck, a pat on the back, or those rewards.  The rewards I am working for are not as easily measured but are more important to me.  I want to nurture.  I want to love and care for those whom I have been given.  The only visual I have to measure with immediately is the way I care for the things in my home.  If my husband provides me with the best things he can and then I neglect them, let them fall to ruin, I am not doing my part.

I think that realizing this helps me see that the more important things that I am given - husband, children, family also are gifts that I am given stewardship over.  If I'm not taking care of the physical things around me I am probably also neglecting the relationships that I have stewardship over.  I do realize that there needs to be balance, there needs to be moderation, there need to be priorities.  I learn the proper order of things.   I learn to choose the better part.  I learn to create order, then I learn to create joy.  I want joy in my home.  I don't want to be bogged down because I  am ashamed of my ability/inability to care for things or people.  I want to simplify the temporal so that it is manageable and I want to make time for the relationships.  I want to learn contentment.  I want to learn to be satisfied when I know I have done the best I can do and I want to be satisfied with the efforts of others.

Basically I guess having less stuff and clean carpet have launched me into doing better with so many other areas that I thought I just had to endure.  I can create beauty with what I have.  I can be a successful keeper of the home.  I do have value and I do some things right, eventually.

• beautiful calenders
• fresh cornbread for breakfast
• safe travel
• children's voices
• good rags for cleaning
• garbage day
• psalms of praise
• conference issue of the Ensign
• getting thoughts down on paper

Living in gratitude

Grateful

• internet
• rainstorms
• ironing complete
• old movies
• new friends
• family pictures
• Saturday chores complete
• anticipation
• forgiveness

Elder

Me and my missionary

He was born 19 years ago in Tennessee.  Almost a week late.  Nearly ten pounds.  All boy.  He grew up with lots of outside time.  He was part of every project his dad ever did. He knew tools innately.  He taught me of trucks, construction trucks, pickup trucks, semi trucks.  He was always willing to fix things, take things apart and spend more time outdoors.  He wasn't a great hunter or fisherman or fastest runner but he was not afraid to try hard or get dirty or stuck.  At first he stayed very close to home.  He always wanted to know where I was.  He still likes to know where I am but he strays a lot farther from home.  He grew taller than me and more independent.  He could be the quiet, mysterious type except that he is not mysterious - just good.  His goodness sneaks out and shines through his eyes before he even knows it.  People see the good in him.  He is gentle and sweet.  He is now gone for 2 years.

paying attention to the angel on his shoulder

These last couple of days have not been easy.  They have been times of working together and driving each other crazy.  There were moments that I thanked my Heavenly Father that this man-child of mine was leaving.  I thought I might not miss him.  I thought it was very helpful of Heavenly Father to make parting easier.

His setting apart was very sweet.  I had had enough that day.  I didn't feel I had any more to give and I certainly didn't want to feel that I had to perform or be on show as our stake has everyone in the room share advice and testimony.  I honestly wanted to stay home.  I'm so glad I didn't.  I had the wrong attitude.  It was all about me looking the shallow fool-( that is just what I was).  My words made no sense, I was trying too hard and worried too much.   The blessings came when I just relaxed, listened for the Spirit, and sought for forgiveness.  Then my heart swelled with love for Peter and for each member of the family that had taken time to be a part of this moment.  After I became teachable I was able to enjoy the advice and the spirit and realize that I had a lot to learn and glean from the experience.  We were each there to learn as well as support.  Two of his younger brothers expressed their desire to follow in his footsteps.  The two youngest kids fell asleep.

As a mother I have tried to give so much, teach all of the most important things, learn from him.  I have worked so hard and trusted in God to cover the things I don't understand.  I have wanted to help him become a Godly man, a worthy priesthood bearer.  Someone I can look up to and admire.  He became all those things.  He is doing exactly what I have always hoped and dreamed he would do at this time yet despite all the bumps in the road I am feeling an ache, a hole in my heart that misses him.

Now I lock the door with one less son home at night.  Now our missionary prayer list is one name longer. Now I watch for missionaries everywhere, tell everyone that my son is on his way to Florida, ponder what I should share in upcoming letters, and check my email constantly in hopes of a few words from my missionary.

Contrasts.  Opposition.  Good and bad.  Different.  All make life better.  We share the same sunlight and Sonlight.  Together we pray for each other and seek to fulfill our individual missions.  I will focus on supporting him and raising a righteous family at home.  He will do his part.  I know.

Grateful:

• early bed times
• quiet nights
• clean carpet
• fresh milk
• hot bread and real butter
• hope
• temple trips
• Thanksgiving Hymns

"Thou hast given so much to me, give one thing more, - a grateful heart; Not thankful when it pleaseth me, as if Thy blessings had spare days, But such a heart whose pulse may be Thy praise."  --George Herbert

weekend . . .

. . . and my major goals/distractions that keep me so busy.

Salt Lake Temple

 Jordan River Temple

 Thanksgiving at Grandma's while they were home from Nauvoo temple.  (They went back today)

 Then we moved on to Christmas.  A beautiful print on canvas of the Nauvoo Temple.  A great reminder of an incredible heritage, blessings of the Lord, and Grandparents serving faithfully.

 Sunday, farewell with family support

 All that's left is setting apart and then the MTC on Wednesday.

 Friend support too.

 (Note to self.  Too much soup and rolls, invite more people or just relax more.)

Monday, 19th birthday!

Presents happen to all be needed by one missionary.

And a quick preview of family pictures thrown into the middle of all this craziness.  Finally ready to start pictures and William gets a call from his dad on Peter's phone.  Random.

Then of course, he is the first posing again, ready for pictures.  I don't know what the rest of us were doing but we got some great stuff I can show later.

gratitude 5

For each new morning with its light,
For rest and shelter of the night,
For health and food, for love and friends,
For everything Thy goodness sends.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

I feel grateful for the world of blogging that has introduced me to ideas, beauty, but mostly people.  I am grateful for those people who willingly share a bit of themselves with me.  It is a sacrifice.  It takes time and it is scary.  To put your thoughts, experiences, and then feelings out where anyone can see and judge is not easy.  To write about the direction of your heart is hard.  To admit that you just don't always know all the answers, that things don't always work out the way you thought they would can make one feel weak.

It is in that scary, hard, weak time that I feel closest to those who share their lives with me.  Sometimes they are strangers, some I have met, know, and love.  Each time someone opens up a little we grow closer.  We recognize the similar journeys we are on.  We enlist the good will, thoughts, and prayers when we open our hearts and lives.

We also risk being silly, being judged harshly, being thought of as naive, confused, way out there.

I don't want to worry about the possible hurt.  I want to be more honest.  I want to be more willing to "tell it like it is".  Days don't always go right.  Sometimes I feel very alone, weak, lost.  Sometimes I just want to go hide in my room and wait for everything to get better before I come out.

Sometimes I find such joy in simple things.  Moments during the day find me smiling because my children are playing well together, or they remember to return and report, or they jump in and help without being asked (or say okay when asked and just do it).  Some days joy comes in a gentle fresh breeze that reminds me I live in the country, beds made, clean laundry, work I am needed for.

As I prepare to send off two missionaries my thoughts are swinging violently back and forth.  I am so grateful they are going.  I'm going to miss them.  My family is shrinking.  They will come back.  Have I taught them enough?  Have they acquired all their supplies?  Can they cook and eat nutritiously without me?  I am needed.  One minute there is just too much to do and the next I am so grateful that my efforts are helping.  I get to the end of the day and think that there is so much more I had hoped to do.

I fall to my knees in prayer thanking my Father in Heaven for another day and ask for help to do that which is needful, to do better tomorrow.

Through the ups and downs I connect with a blog post.  Someone shares their great idea, a glimpse of their home life, a list of their goals and I feel like I have visited with a friend.  I feel like my circle has widened.  I don't feel alone, inspiration comes with a desire to do better, try a new way, pray for someone else.  In our hurried, disjointed world that never seems to have time for visiting, I find a way to fill that empty spot and I hope that in some way I am filling and lifting another.
Grateful

• slippers
• tortillas and cheese
• dirt, sticks, logs
• work
• goodnight hugs from big boys
• a vacuum working
• clean windows
• baby bunnies

Thanksgiving was never meant to be shut up in a single day.  ~Robert Caspar Lintner