media fast

Thanks to a prophetic plea and invitation I participated in a ten day fast from social media.  For me that meant avoiding Instagram (which I only just recently discovered and haven't gotten involved yet) and Facebook.  I do check Facebook but I honestly did not miss it.  It is something I turn to when I am "killing time".  I don't know why anyone would want to kill time.  There are so many great things I can do instead of scrolling Facebook.

So we were asked to consider what we need to avoid and what we need to add in. President Nelson asked us in his address to the women of the church to help in the gathering of Israel.   He also asked us to read the Book of Mormon by the end of the year.  It was been a wonderful partnership of invitations.  I have never read the Book of Mormon that fast or looking for and marking all references to my Savior Jesus Christ.  I'm only a couple of weeks in but I am learning so much.  Emily organized a texting group to share insights which has been wonderful.

So with my media fast I still watched some movies, did email, texting and reading and listening of books and podcasts.  Even giving up the little that I did, I have noticed some very subtle changes in me.  I have loved the other things I have been able to accomplish.  The change that I see in me is a sensitivity to where I want to spend my time.  I am especially less tolerant of the tv being on.  I don't like my kids watching episodes of Flash and other things that seem to draw them in and take (steel) their time.  There are still times when a movie or show feels like a great way to have a shared experience or have some gentle down time.  I want to be much more selective in what we consider entertainment in our home.

I want to continue in this process of living purposefully, choosing well what I do and why.  I felt like there were so many promises and blessings.  I want to study, remember, understand, and claim those blessings.

Some quotes from President Nelson's final address. This happens to be what I learned from my media fast.

I plead with you to take a prayerful look at how you spend your time. Invest time in your future and in that of your family.

And this is definitely what conference October 2018 has done for me.  I love that we move forward with faith not fear, with hope in the future and trust in my Savior.  It is an exciting time to be alive and to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. 

This has been an inspirational and historic conference. We look to the future with enthusiasm. We have been motivated to do better and to be better. 

I will do better and be better!

As a bonus I thought I would share a few of the promises I quickly found as I scanned the prophets and apostles message for our day. I put this together for my family.

Blessings and Promises

Prophets and apostles October 2018

Quentin L Cook

“We are confident that members will be blessed in extraordinary ways. Sunday can be a day of gospel learning and teaching at church and in the home. As individuals and families engage in family councils, family history, ministering, service, personal worship, and joyful family time, the Sabbath day will truly be a delight.”

“The announcements made today will result in profound blessings for those who enthusiastically embrace the adjustments and seek the guidance of the Holy Ghost. We will become closer to our Heavenly Father and our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, of whom I am a sure witness. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.”

Ronald A. Rasband

“Take heart, brothers and sisters. Yes, we live in perilous times, but as we stay on the covenant path, we need not fear. I bless you that as you do so, you will not be troubled by the times in which we live or the troubles that come your way. I bless you to choose to stand in holy places and be not moved. I bless you to believe in the promises of Jesus Christ, that He lives and that He is watching over us, caring for us and standing by us. In the name of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, amen.”

David A. Bednar

“I promise that increased perspective, purpose, and power will be evident in our learning and living of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ as we strive to gather together in one all things in Christ—even in Him.

All opportunities and blessings of eternal consequence originate in, are possible and have purpose because of, and endure through the Lord Jesus Christ. As Alma testified: “There is no other way or means whereby man can be saved, only in and through Christ. Behold, he is the life and the light of the world.”²⁶

Dallin H. Oaks

“Our loving Heavenly Father wants His children to have the joy that is the purpose of our creation. That joyful destiny is eternal life, which we can obtain by pressing forward along what our prophet, President Russell M. Nelson, often calls “the covenant path.” Here is what he said in his first message as President of the Church: “Keep on the covenant path. Your commitment to follow the Savior by making covenants with Him and then keeping those covenants will open the door to every spiritual blessing and privilege available to men, women, and children everywhere.”⁸

  

D. Todd Christofferson

“Always remember the promise of good things to come, both now and hereafter, for those who are firm and steadfast in the faith of Christ. Remember “eternal life, and the joy of the saints.”²⁵ “O all ye that are pure in heart, lift up your heads and receive the pleasing word of God, and feast upon his love; for ye may, if your minds are firm, forever.”²⁶ In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Ulisses Soares

I invite you to consider what we can do to be more embracing, accepting, and helpful to them, starting this very next Sunday. Be careful not to let your Church assignments get in the way of welcoming new friends at Church meetings and activities. After all, these souls are precious before the eyes of God and are much more important than programs and activities. If we minister to our new friends with our hearts full of pure love as the Savior did, I promise you, in His name, that He will assist us in our efforts. When we act as faithful ministers, as the Savior did, our new friends will have the help they need to remain strong, dedicated, and faithful to the end. They will join us as we become a mighty people of God and will help us to bring fresh water to a world desperately in need of the blessings of the gospel of Jesus Christ. These children of God will feel like they are “no more strangers and foreigners, but fellow citizens with the saints.”¹⁵ I promise you that they will recognize the presence of our Savior, Jesus Christ, in His own Church. They will continue to flow with us as a river into the fountain of all goodness until they are received with open arms by our Lord, Jesus Christ, and they hear the Father say, “Ye shall have eternal life.”¹⁶

I invite you to seek the Lord’s help in loving others as He has loved you. Let us all follow the counsel given by Mormon: “Wherefore, my beloved brethren [and sisters], pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ.”¹⁷Of these truths, I witness and do so in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Gerrit Gong

With compassion, our Savior encourages and promises we can “press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men.”²³ The doctrine of Christ, our Savior’s Atonement, and our whole-souled following of His covenant path can help us know His truths and make us free.²⁴

I testify the fulness of His gospel and His plan of happiness are restored and taught in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, in holy scripture, and by prophets from the Prophet Joseph Smith to President Russell M. Nelson today. I testify His covenant path leads to the greatest gift our loving Heavenly Father promises: “Ye shall have eternal life.”²⁵

May His blessings and enduring joy be ours as we warm our hearts and hopes and commitment at our campfire of faith, I pray in the sacred and holy name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Dieter F. Uchtdorf

May I suggest that discipleship begins with three simple words:

Believe, love, and do.

I testify and leave you my blessing that as we believe in God, as we love Him and love His children with all our hearts, and as we strive to do as God has instructed us, we will find healing and peace, happiness and meaning. In the sacred name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Henry B. Eyring

(to the women. I feel as a prophesy or promise or blessing)

You will each find ways to contribute to the outpouring of truth upon your families in the Lord’s restored Church. Each of you will pray, study, and ponder to know what your unique contribution will be. But this I know: each of you, equally yoked with sons of God, will be a major part of a miracle of gospel learning and living that will hasten the gathering of Israel and will prepare God’s family for the glorious return of the Lord Jesus Christ. In the sacred name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Dallin H Oaks

My dear sisters, if you participate in any meanness or pettiness—individually or with a group—resolve now to change and encourage others to change. That is my counsel, and I give it to you as a servant of the Lord Jesus Christ because His Spirit has prompted (inspired direction from a prophet to me) me to speak to you about this important subject. I testify of Jesus Christ, our Savior, who taught us to love one another as He loved us. I pray that we will do so, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Russell M. Nelson

Tonight I urge you, with all the hope of my heart, to pray to understand your spiritual gifts—to cultivate, use, and expand them, even more than you ever have. You will change the world as you do so.

(concerning reading the Book of Mormon) if you will accept this invitation with full purpose of heart, the Lord will help you find a way to achieve it. And, as you prayerfully study, I promise that the heavens will open for you. The Lord will bless you with increased inspiration and revelation.

I love you and thank you and now bless you with the ability to leave the world behind as you assist in this crucial and urgent work. Together we can do all that our Heavenly Father needs us to do to prepare the world for the Second Coming of His Beloved Son.

M. Russell Ballard

D&C 88

On this special 100th anniversary, I invite you to thoroughly and thoughtfully read this revelation. As you do so, may the Lord bless you to more fully understand and appreciate God’s love and His plan of salvation and happiness for His children.

Jeffrey R. Holland

With the apostolic authority granted me by the Savior of the world, I testify of the tranquility to the soul that reconciliation with God and each other will bring if we are meek and courageous enough to pursue it. “Cease to contend one with another,” the Savior pled.¹⁷ If you know of an old injury, repair it. Care for one another in love.

My beloved friends, in our shared ministry of reconciliation, I ask us to be peacemakers—to love peace, to seek peace, to create peace, to cherish peace. I make that appeal in the name of the Prince of Peace, who knows everything about being “wounded in the house of [His] friends”¹⁸ but who still found the strength to forgive and forget—and to heal—and be happy. For that I pray, for you and for me, in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, amen.

Neil L Anderson

My brothers and sisters, it is my promise to you that increasing your faith in the Lord Jesus Christ will bring you added strength and greater hope. For you, the righteous, the Healer of our souls, in His time and His way, will heal all your wounds.³² No injustice, no persecution, no trial, no sadness, no heartache, no suffering, no wound—however deep, however wide, however painful—will be excluded from the comfort, peace, and lasting hope of Him whose open arms and whose wounded hands will welcome us back into His presence. At that day, the Apostle John testifies, the righteous “which [come] out of great tribulation”³³ will stand “arrayed in white robes … before the throne of God.” The Lamb will “dwell among [us] … and God shall wipe away all tears from [your] eyes.”³⁴ This day will come. I so witness in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Russell M. Nelson

My dear brothers and sisters, I promise you that if we will do our best to restore the correct name of the Lord’s Church, He whose Church this is will pour down His power and blessings upon the heads of the Latter-day Saints,¹⁷ the likes of which we have never seen. We will have the knowledge and power of God to help us take the blessings of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ to every nation, kindred, tongue, and people and to prepare the world for the Second Coming of the Lord.

Henry B. Eyring

(again, Pre. Eyring’s words feel like promises)

Brothers and sisters, the Lord has opportunities near you to feel and to share His love. You can pray with confidence for the Lord to lead you to love someone for Him. He answers the prayers of meek volunteers like you. You will feel the love of God for you and for the person you serve for Him. As you help children of God in their troubles, your own troubles will seem lighter. Your faith and your hope will be strengthened.

I bear you my witness that the Savior knows and loves you. He knows your name as you know His. He knows your troubles. He has experienced them. By His Atonement, He has overcome the world. By your being willing to take His name upon you, you will lift the burdens of countless others. And you will find in time that you know the Savior better and that you love Him more. His name will be in your heart and fixed in your memory. It is the name by which you will be called. I so witness, with gratitude for His loving-kindness to me, to my loved ones, and to you, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

 Dale G. Renlund  Choose Him!

Gary E. Stevenson

May we raise our sights to this prophetic vision so we can shepherd souls to the temple and ultimately to our Savior, Jesus Christ. He does not expect us to perform miracles. He asks only that we bring our brothers and sisters unto Him, for He has the power to redeem souls. As we do so, we can and will secure this promise: “And when the chief Shepherd shall appear, ye shall receive a crown of glory that fadeth not away.”¹⁹ Of this I testify—and of Jesus Christ as our Savior and our Redeemer—in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

President Russell M. Nelson

My dear brothers and sisters, the assaults of the adversary are increasing exponentially, in intensity and in variety.³ Our need to be in the temple on a regular basis has never been greater. I plead with you to take a prayerful look at how you spend your time. Invest time in your future and in that of your family. If you have reasonable access to a temple, I urge you to find a way to make an appointment regularly with the Lord—to be in His holy house—then keep that appointment with exactness and joy. I promise you that the Lord will bring the miracles He knows you need as you make sacrifices to serve and worship in His temples.

Brothers and sisters, I thank you for your faith and sustaining efforts. I leave my love and blessing upon you, that you may feast upon the word of the Lord and apply His teachings in your personal lives. I assure you that revelation continues in the Church and will continue until “the purposes of God shall be accomplished, and the Great Jehovah shall say the work is done.”⁵

I bless you with increased faith in Him and in His holy work, with faith and patience to endure your personal challenges in life. I bless you to become exemplary Latter-day Saints. I so bless you and bear my testimony that God lives! Jesus is the Christ! This is His Church. We are His people, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

self

Self. That's what I have been thinking about. Mostly myself.  I had a very full week with  a busy month and a busy summer.  I have had some great successes along the way but I often remind myself of the regrets. It seems to be one thing after another and although I do sometimes take time for myself by taking a nap or listening to a good book, I have felt overwhelm, exhaustion.  I have been disappointed as I am easily worn out physically.  I try to improve my eating, exercise and it all wears me out and I continue to gain weight.  I try to be okay with whatever. I try to not have my value be dependent on my size.  I have talked with God, asked for help, asked to find a healthy size and be content, asked if there is something I need to learn from this size journey, told him I am willing to do whatever, complained that nothing fits, energy is low, emotions are all over the place and I have a hard time seeing the good. 

I finally fell apart last Monday.  I was ready to sell the house, ignore everyone, quit trying and just be alone.  I have since realized that there may have been some brain chemistry off that added quickly to the overwhelm and sadness (i.e.Yelling and sobbing) that I felt.  I am trying to be better about taking my Q science vitamins because they do seem to help. Then I get frustrated that I need the help and rely on pills.  Then I take enough and the world is a better place and I am grateful. 

So while I have been busy trying to recover, enjoy life and figure stuff out I have realized that my negative attitude is affecting the ones I love.  I have been blind to the needs of family members (when there are 27 of us its easy to miss something). I have been more worried about myself and trying to find the balance of accepting assignments, opportunities, learning experiences and  protecting my sanity.  There doesn't seem to be a simple answer.  What does 'lose yourself in the service of others' really look like?

I am trying to figure out what is real. What is really my fault or under my control?  What should I be doing with my time? Am I being a wise steward of myself mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually? Will that all take care of itself if I focus more on others?

I really want to understand. I feel like I am in this journey for a reason but it is an uphill climb.  I try to watch out for and help my kids but there are always little conversations that cause a red flag and I wonder if I did something wrong or am not doing enough or need to do more. 

I am very grateful for the hope I have that I am not alone.  That I matter to my Heavenly Father.  I am listening to Little Women for a book club I want to join (one more thing that I think I want and is good but do I have time and is it selfish?).  There are so many wise lessons in the pages of that book that help me want to be a better woman, a better mom. I feel inspired. I highlight. And then I doubt if I can do it. 

I am not perfect. I know that and I know that I am not required to be perfect. I just need to keep trying. Even trying feels really hard some days, some moments.  There is so much good in my life.  When I stop and count blessings including good people in my life I am overwhelmed with the abundance of my life.  Even this sometimes leads me to feeling guilty.  I think why? Why when I am so blessed am I still struggling to be happy?  Why when I am so blessed do I feel anything but gratitude? Why can't I be the cheerful one? the one who sees good in everything? the one who never complains or speaks ill of others? the one who knows how best to help and has the courage to act? Who give abundantly and receives graciously? who can stick to a schedule and always be learning and becoming better physically, spiritually, emotionally, and mentally? And I come through the circle again wondering how do I really make progress.  What does it look like? Am I doing anything right?

And there you have it.  Self. I seem to be thinking again of myself. 
"God, please continue to be patient with me. I will continue to turn to you. You are my strength and my song. You have said I can ask and receive, seek and find. That the Holy Ghost can tell me all things what I should do.  I need that.  Please help me live worthy of thy Spirit, making choices that help me to hear the still small voice. Please give me courage to move forward, act on promptings, trust thee and enjoy this journey, this pilgrimage. Please forgive me my doubts, my despair. I will have hope and faith."

gifting

In the temple this morning I received a desire to be better at giving gifts. I want to be more aware of the needs around me and be prepared to help, to give.  I want to not have so much drama and worry when it comes to picking out a gift and trying to guess the receivers ability to receive - will they like it?, do they need it? will it be appreciated? Is it cheap? Is it wasteful? Is it a burden? will they be insulted? will they think I am ... because of what I chose to spend or make or do?  Guess what?  None of that is under my control  I have been letting something I have no control over - control me.  It has actually paralyzed me at times because I didn't trust my ability to just give what I could.  I am realizing that the part I can control is my intention.  That is where my worry can actually help me.  How can I keep my intentions pure? Are they motivated by love? Is the gift freely given without hope or expectation? I don't want to give anything with strings attached. I want to give freely and joyfully.  I want to give abundantly.

I am realizing that some of my issues with giving come from my inability to simply receive.  I get worried when someone does something for me or gives me something.  What do they expect in return? I could never be as thoughtful. Are things different between us now? Do I need to go get them something?

As this desire grew in my heart during a sacred temple experience I started to look around and realized that so many of the paintings surrounding me in the world room were of giving.  There were hands held out offering.  There were gifts being carried. There were gifts of serving, hard work welcoming, help and concern, discovery, knowledge, adventure.  There are also gifts that are not good such as the money paid to sell Joseph into captivity or the Israelites and the golden calf.

Giving and receiving are such vital parts of our earthly experience.  We do need to discern (another gift I want is that of discernment). We need to give and receive good gifts.  I add that to my request to learn to be a good giver of good gifts.  I want to let go of trying to understand what may be going on in anyone else's head and trust that I am doing the best I know how and they are too.  It seems to me that it would be easy to give gifts in this way.

I feel fortunate that my husband is a good giver.  He loves to give in secret. He willingly helps anyone in need. He give service.  He is building his business and under all kinds of responsibilities and dreams of potential but this summer he has taken time to serve.  He has served as president of the Mormon Miracle Pageant where he is continually working on relationships and how to improve the pageant experience. We got to be in the Nauvoo and British pageants which was a gift to me as it was my dream to do as a family and took over 2 weeks of full time away from home. He was asked to be the course director for Wood badge and spent much of the year putting together a fantastic team and inviting participants to invest in learning leadership skills. He helped my niece find a car and will probably end up eating a good share of the cost of the first effort as it didn't work out.  I bought a mirror and it led to redoing the whole powder room which he did willingly as evenings allowed.  He took time to help us with the grand kids at the fair and then took several of the boys to the rodeo that night.  I have examples in my children, grandchildren, neighbors and friends of people giving good gifts that are becoming more obvious and I seek to understand gifts.  They don't complain. They just give where they can and trust the circle of giving and receiving. It will all work out.

I am seeing that same cycle in my relationship with God.  He gives and gives.  All that I have he has given me. Sometimes he asks me to give - a broken heart, contrite spirit, my will, sisters to minister to, a family to love, covenants and promises, time, a grateful heart.  He asks of me, is there with me helping me give and he blesses me through the whole process. When we give good gifts I believe there are always more good things heading our way. 

Nauvoo and British pageant experience

Red Cast of the pageant began on July1 with getting our costumes and our first meeting/intro to the core cast and a chance to start off running from the beginning,

Day 1

our cabin for our Nauvoo experience

The view from our cabin and my family out standing in the lake

 We celebrated Debbie's birthday, and she got to go to the Nauvoo temple to do baptisms.

Our red cast experience included all these good people that we worked with, played with, and grew to love.  So very grateful for our pageant experience and to share it with these people at this time.

British pageant costumes and set

From this picture on the photos are in random order but still a fun reminder of the good times.

Drive home in our Buick enclave

June

The month of June began with adding 3 teens to our household.  With Natalie's family of 6 downstairs and our 8 upstairs we were at 14 for the entire month.  I am so grateful to help provide the experience of being in the pageant to a few more people.  The experience here in our small town is so very different than any other place and some even say life changing.  It is a privilege to be a part of adding wonder and experience to another's life

Shauna, Debbie, Sim, and Jeffrey

the boys room on a Sunday afternoon, snoozing.

fun time creating pictures together

the kids were experimenting with face painting for Lamanite warriors

This year we had dancers, warriors, and pioneers.  Here we have Elder Dube of the 70 posing with our crew.  He was great to have come and visit.  It is so exciting to hear how the people of Africa are receiving the good news of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

back row: Jeffrey, Kyle, Mark and front: Kylee, Debbie and Simeon

 Isaac, John, William, and Peter all helped with stage crew and shot arrows at Samuel the Lamanite for the first time.  Luckily angels are still protecting him and he never got hit.

Also Milt and his presidency provided firesides for youth groups before pageant each night.  Encore group would sing for half an hour and then a presidency member would speak for half an hour.  I was so please with the way Milt has developed his speaking and story telling skills. He was fun, engaging and shared value with the audience.

Yes that's my son in the red pants. So fun to see him developing and sharing his love of singing and dancing.  This is just a taste.

Mom's 75th birthday celebration was a lot of fun.  We had an open house for all her friends and then a family BBQ and more fun.

The cousins had great fun filling this tree with hammocks and sharing their seats.

Amber skills with her special hammock

 We talked 3 of my siblings into coming down with their families to see the pageant and enjoy a day at the lake.  To our house full of 14 we add 22 more that spent the night.  We sure know how to have fun and enjoy a big family.  Kayaking, paddle boarding and canoeing along with a picnic lunch.

Mark, Steve, Dad, Mom, me, Julie, and Amber

 We were only missing Dan and his family.  Not bad for all the many schedules that have to coordinate to have time together.

On June 20, Isaac had a group date.  They headed to Maple Canyon to go hiking.  Eight teenagers, actively having good, clean fun.

 That fun changed when Isaac (my son) went to look over the other side.  He was holding onto one of the rocks and it let loose. 

 He fell around 20 feet.  They were all up near this tree and he fell down, landing with his rear on a boulder and then finally stopping with the help of a tree to his chest another 15 feet.

These great kids had the scare of a lifetime as they saw him leave there view and only heard screaming as he fell. They hurried down to him, treated him for shock. Jeffrey lead them in prayer and then they were inspired on how to carry him out.  They even did all they knew how to check for a possible broken back.  They carefully crafted the words they would say as they call Mr. O.  "Hey umm, this is Kyle.  Isaac took a tumble and we are on our way to the hospital."

Needless to say Milt and I took off immediately and got there soon after the kids delivered Isaac to the emergency room.

 His head was fine but he had plenty of evidence of the fall.  One of the girls fathers "happened" to be working at the hospital as a nurse, happened to have recently heard Milt speak at his church, and ws a stake president.  We asked for his assistance in administering a blessing to Isaac.  He was promised that he would heal and that he should be patient in the process. They x-rayed both his hands and feet, did a CT scan of his tourso and an EKG of his chest. 

 Nothing was broken. All organs were fine.  They worried that their might be a hairline fracture at the base area of his one thumb so they splinted that. They washed and bandaged all they could and we were free to go home.

All these amazing, caring, faith filled youth waited and supported at the hospital

Isaac has been sore.  He carries a donut pillow to sit on everywhere and is using a crutch because it is hard to walk but he is pushing forward and is even attending a performing arts camp this week.  He is not one to be kept down.  I do hope he is learning to be patient in the healing process but I do appreciate his desire to limit pain meds, trust his body to heal, and have a new respect for being careful and steep edges.

I am so grateful that we get to learn these lessons now.  So grateful that there is a great group of youth who truly care about one another and choosing the right.  Life is good.