I am reading a book that talks about the importants of confessing our sins, weaknesses, imperfections both to God and at least one other person. She says it is important to not be a pretender--pretending that we are perfect. That a lot of the ideas that everyone else is doing "it all" so easily and feeling like the only one that has to work hard is a falsehood. If we are more honest with who we are and how we struggle we are less judging, more able to "mourn with those that mourn, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort". We can better bear one another's burdens (as we covenant to when we are baptised)if we are more willing to admit and share those burdens. It almost makes sense to me. So here is my question. How do you do that? How do you share your weaknesses and your strengths in an appropriate way? How do you be more open without sounding like you are just making excuses, whining, fishing for compliments. . .? I know that when I drop by someone's home and they are not emmaculately dressed with a perfect house but instead I find that they also sometimes forget to come their hair before lunch (or are still wearing stickers on their face from their 1yo), or maybe their kids leave all their stuff by the front door too, or maybe the dust has gotten thick enough to tempt someone to write in it, maybe the children are still wearing breakfast or yesterday's hair bows--I instantly feel an increase in closeness with this person. I feel like "Hey, maybe we have a lot more in common than I thought. Maybe she wouldn't judge me too harshly if she came to my house." So I know that I will continue to strive for taking care of myself, home, and family, but I appreciate not feeling constantly judged on a perfect scale. I will continue to raise the bar but knowing that I will also continue to slip and I would love the thought of a friend that is there not to point out that I slipped again but maybe to catch me, cheer me on, or help me hold on just by being there holding on too. So back to the original questions--How do you do this? How do we admit who we are and where we are still at with others feeling the need to fix you or argue that you aren't really struggling the way that you are? One of the hardest things can be when you share a concern or challenge and you are told "oh, you're just fine" as if your being prompted to make changes isn't real. I guess it's a validating thing, a tricky balance of supporting without brushing you off.
Another example could be that desire to lose weight. You don't feel comfortable with the way you look. You know you would feel healthy with some changes but if you express your dissatifaction you may be told "oh, you're not fat". At the same time you don't appreciate the "are you pregnant? aren't those pants a little tight?" either. I guess my problem lies in the "unseen things" when we have inner struggles. Is there an appropriate way to share those and help one another. If I struggle, is there someone that would understand, someone I could call and say, its a hard day. . . thanks for listening. So for today this blog is my friend, my sounding board in search of answers, of success stories, or understanding. Maybe I will figure out how to really do this step in repenting and forsaking. In the mean time, I am publicly confessing that I am not perfect. I will never be perfect but I will continue to endure and become something good--one step at a time. As my weaknesses jump in my face and bring me down, I will remember that we all have them, we all have our own challenges, and somehow, with the Lord's help, I can learn how to keep my covenants by bearing one anothers burdens. I pray.
