Thanksgiving 2016

 We started our celebrations playing basketball.  We may not be great but we have the numbers.  It was fun to watch.

 I have no idea why these pictures came turned.

 fair share of floor time 

 Pie Morning!  It is the other hoiday that shares with Thanksgiving.  Lauri hosted this year and it was all wonderful as usual.  We had several more pies show up.  Always something good for everyone and a few too many temptations.

 We enjoyed clay pigeon shooting with some squash shooting too.  I got to use the shot gun I got for my birthday.

 The Weissbergs supporting the fun and protecting Sweetie.

 We celebrated a little of Jared's birthday.  He got a fun book that we all enjoyed together. (This is a Serious Book, They loved it anhad a few giggles.)

 I sure love the moments I get to connect with the grandkids and hopefully build some memories.

 Dinner included BBQ turkey again this year.  Peter's and Dane's face seem to indicate they don't like it.  Actually they are just pests when it comes to pictures.  Posterity can just remember them this way.

 Like father like son.

 the numbness after dinner is all cleaned up

 And the fun continues with building blocks that work for all ages (I should say boys of all ages.).

Look! and I looked and beheld

I got to attend a special auxiliary training for teachers.  I have been a teacher. I have had callings that required a lot of teacher preparation and I have learned so much through the effort of trying to be a good teacher and having to rely on the Spirit to do the real teaching to me as well as to the students.  I love the new Teaching in the Savior's Way. I have seen beautiful things happen as teachers implement these concepts and ideas.

At the training by Devin Durrant we were asked to find a scripture that illustrates how the Savior teaches.  My thoughts went immediately to when the Spirit of the Lord came to Nephi in 1 Nephi 11 and asked him what his desires were.  As Nephi explained that he believed in his father's dream but wanted to understand it, the Spirit rejoiced and began to teach him.  The Spirit asked Nephi to look. Nephi's obedience was rewarded by being shown the answer and usually a little bit more.  Nephi then put in his own words what he understood and was invited to ask about the things he did not understand.  It is my understanding that this is how the Spirit teaches.  We express our desires through prayer. We are often asked to do something. We are taught line upon line with the opportunity to ask more questions which also opens up more understanding. The more we seek, the more we find.

As teachers, we can follow a similar path. We can create a safe environment where students feel a sense of wonder and then begin participating in the learning process by seeking for answers, asking questions, discovering for themselves the truths and sharing with one another.

I also realize as I attend these trainings and don't have the "traditional teacher" calling that I can still use these same truths in my Webelos den as I get to be the den leader and discover a lot of more practical truths with 10 year old boys.

unwrap the gifts

I love Meg Johnson.  She inspires me in new ways since my accident.  I know I haven't had near the same challenges but they are enough for me and I sometimes struggle.  I am amazed by her attitude and willingness to make the most of life, enjoy life.  In this recent article she said:

The Perfect Gift by Meg Johnson, LDS Living Nov/Dec 2016 p. 18

"After all, independence isn't the plan. It never was. We weren't sent to earth to see how much we can do all by ourselves but, rather, to see how well we can share the gifts we bring with us and how well we can unwrap the gifts we see in each other. And to see how much we can rely on God."

 One of the hardest things can be to have to ask for help or even accept the help that is offered.  We think we have to do it all ourselves. There is no weakness in receiving help.  In fact, there is actually a synergy of strength that happens when we gratefully give and accept help.  All are blessed. All are edified together. It is how we can "unwrap the gifts we see in each other". Sharing a moment brings friends closer, family closer, and even strangers become more real when we combine our efforts toward success.

Yesterday a friend saw me for the first time since the accident.  She expressed her gratitude that  I was doing so well.  She lifted me by saying that she was really grateful I still had my smile.  It is the same as always. I didn't realize my smile stood out on its own but apparently even a smile can brighten someones day. Her mentioning it did brighten my day. I am glad I can smile, laugh, see, talk, think. walk, function in so many ways.  I feel like this experience has given me a fresh look at all those things that I was taking for granted and now I am unwrapping them as if they are new gifts. Little comments like that remind me of the goodness of others as well as the miracles I have seen. It has been amazing to still meet people who are concerned and truly care about me and my progress. The world really is a small place full of really good people who love.

Grateful:

• If it weren't for those times when we have opposition we wouldn't realize there are miracles daily that guide and protect us that we just don't recognize because our angels are so good at what they do.
• Things I am still hoping for - bladder control improvement, food to taste good again, and that extra moon on my fingernails to grow all the way out.
• Snow today
• easy donuts made out of those biscuits in the refrigerator section.  I got to whip up donuts for my grandkids with little effort or mess.
• warm fires heating my home
• Ellen called and offered to get us a Christmas tree tag
• my car heater works and I have a new winter coat

thoughts on water

Water. It is part of the very first things of creation.  As I learn about creation and water I have been thinking about the importance of water.  A majority of the earth is water, most of our bodies they say is water. All living things depend on water. Water helps create the physical geography of the land.  Water is a great part of all life.

God separated the water from the land

Water is amazing and essential but too much is devastating.  Too much water causes destruction and even death. Though we all need water, we can't have water all the time - everywhere.  There needs to be a balance. There needs to be opposition in all things.

We all need living water.  The water that comes from Christ.  All good things come from Jesus.  He blesses us and created this world for us. He knew how much of the earth to make water and where we needed to live in order to excel, to progress.  I think it works with living water too.  He has so many blessings for us. He wants to bless us with all that we want but if he gave it all to us it would be like water without dry ground.  We need opposition.  Thank you to my friend Stephanie for pointing this out and causing me to ponder on it. We ask for blessings - good things, and wonder why God seems slow to answer but with blessings come challenges.  Maybe we just need a bit of time to prepare for the bounty or water so that we don't drown or get swept away.  If we got all the good stuff, all the blessings we seek at once it would not really bless our lives.  With the increase in good there is a needful increase in challenges. It all works as an opportunity to learn, to understand, to grow and be taught.  If we had all water and no land it just wouldn't work for us to progress, to live, to learn and grow.

All that Christ is - the living water, the bread of life, the light of the world - need to be things that come to us in moderation.  I always need my Savior and He is always there for me but the ebb and flow of blessings is also calculated to be the right portions for me to become more of what He needs me to be.  Even the sun as important as it is to every day leaves for the night but always returns to lend it's life giving light.

The elementary here does the Leader in Me program and uses the 7 Habits of Highly Effective Kids. They have a good program and are teaching some great skills.  The kids did a great job of emceeing and portraying the different habits.  Debbie's singing group got to perform and she did a great job.  She sure enjoys performing and being with her friends.

and for the rest of it, I want to blog again.  It is healing to me to put down in words my thoughts, hopes, questions.  I want understanding and peace.  Sometimes god answers our prayers through our exercising faith and doing things. I have found that often answers come as I write.  As I questions and wonder or even at times complain, the words often come around to a place where they are teaching me.  I love when the trials come full circle and I start to understand.

So I look fine. I have gained the weight I lost so quickly. My hair has grown back so that no one notices the large scars.  I am walking straighter. I can think. I can talk. I can read and enjoy doing so.  What I continue to struggle with is the physical. I feel weak.  I get worn out easily.  Yesterday I tried to mow the front lawn. I have a self-propelled push mower and it is normally easy to use.  Knowing that, I thought that I could handle the front lawn.  The leaves needed cleaning up.  I like mowing.  I had to empty the bag often. The up and down and lifting and pushing took its toll on me.  I got dizzy. I got wobbly.  I got emotional as I was unable to do a simple thing.  I worry that I will gain unwanted weight and I wanted the exercise.  I even worried about what passers by thought. Would they think I was faking my weakness because they had seen me out mowing the lawn?  Did anyone understand the effort and sacrifice? Did I want them to?  No.  I just want to feel good and be able to do things when they need to be done. It has been 2 months and I am really doing well.  I have been blessed to heal quickly and well.  Am I being ungrateful? Should I push more? Should I slow down and enjoy this down time as the gift it is?  People have been so patient and kind.  I would like to be kind with myself. I don't know what that looks like.  I still judge with the old eyes of the old me. Taking time to slow down and I think I am being lazy. I want to understand better what is right for me right now. I want to show my gratitude for the healing I have received by being a good steward and yet I am not sure what that looks like.

 There are a lot less leaves all over my front yard. Most of the leaves blow in from other yards so depending on the weather me may have to deal with it all again.

Maybe I need to go back to an old goal of mine that wants to get better at intuition.  I do want to be in tune with the promptings of the spirit.  I want to really do what is best right now and be grateful in the process. I had thought I might put Debbie in public school because of my healing time but she has been a huge help and comfort to me.  I pray that there are important lessons she is still learning in the process of helping me and being patient. She is also learning to govern her own time a bit better.  I would miss her so much if she were gone all day. I don't think we would be as close to one another.

Dress up fun

We don't really "do" Halloween.  I try to find that balance of loving people, finding reasons to come together, creating fun memories and avoiding the yucky gore and evil of many Halloween activities. We went to the elementary schools parade of costumes and it reinforced my desire to not celebrate Halloween.  We have found a simplified medium ground that lets the kids dress up in costume and enjoy some simply things.

 Jim Craig (Man from Snowy River), a hippie, a newsy, a princess, Clark Kent and a lumber Jack

 The hero fireman, the tree, and the little kitty stuck in the tree.

 And here we have the announcement of a new little member of this cute family that will be coming in April  Boy are we excited!

 This year we invited all the family and a few friends to donuts and chocolate milk.  It was great to reel in some of those cute grand kids.  We discovered easy donuts by buying the 4 pack of cheap biscuits (the kind in the cylinder that pop open) and creating donut shapes, frying them and rolling in cinnamon and sugar.  They are super easy and taste quite good.

When I got the mail today I had a special letter from my grandson.

 It wasn't until I responded to this letter that the rest of the family got the above picture announcing to them of the coming family member.

Harder than it looks

I loved Florida because it was a family vacation and I was able to be there.  It was not always easy and took some patience from my family and from me.  It meant a lot to me when several family members took time to say "Wow mom, you did really well". I did do well and without their noticing I sometimes forgot how very blessed I have been.  It took effort and desire to get up and go with everyone all day long but it was worth it.

There were times when I was a little envious of a wheelchair or a seat.  Times when I just didn't care what anyone else thought and sat right on the floor.  One afternoon I even said, "I've had enough. I'll just stay home for now".

Yesterday I drove myself to an appointment and then stopped at Walmart on my way home to do some grocery shopping. It was my very first trip driving myself so far and shopping alone.  I was a little bit worn out and just plugging along.  I am grateful to push a cart as it gives me something to hang on to.  One aisle I went in part way, grabbed an item and then because the aisle was blocked I backed out and went on my way.  I suddenly her a voice saying "you really should look where you are going when you back out. I almost hit you."  She sounded rather irritated.  I tried to joke and say I needed flashing lights and a beeper for backing up.  She quickly passed by on the other side and moved on.  I felt like I had been yelled at for not being more capable.  Looking backwards is still a bit of a struggle.  I should have been more careful and thoughtful of others.

A long time ago a church leader said we should treat people as if they are having a really hard time because chances are - they are having a hard time.  That always sounded so negative. I am learning that often we are having a hard time.  It is so easy to be impatient and judge another's actions.  As I have struggled with things that are most likely not visible and obvious to people, I am learning that we just don't know what others are feeling or how hard things really are.  I don't look old and crippled and slow but sometimes I feel that way. Sometimes I am extremely emotional and on the verge of tears. Other people don't know the effort I am making just to be "normal". I would love it if all of us could be a bit more patient, assume people are doing the best they can and just love more.  I want to love more.  I want to love those who make me exercise my patience and I want to love those who are short of patience with me.  It goes both ways and takes a little more effort but it is what I want and what I believe the world could use.