I am woman. I am grateful for the many ways women have earned respect and rights but I also feel in some ways we had more before when the role of wife and mother were revered, when protecting women and children was top priority.
I love being a woman. I have never wished I were anything different. I have loved discovering the many different blessings that are slowly reveled as I revel in my roles as a woman.
I have been thinking particularly of mothering. As a stay at home mom I don't get regular raises, awards or recognition for efforts, improvements, accomplishments or even successes along the way. As a woman in the home my work is private, my struggles and glories are private. My victories and heart aches are often carried alone. It is not for the faint of heart because it is for the long haul. I am required to endure possibly for years before I even know if the desired outcome is to be reached and even then sometimes the vision of the ideal changes to fit the person I am raising and loving.
One of the best things I can do is quietly celebrate and express gratitude for the little steps along the way. I can't help but think that one of the most amazing things women are able to do is to have another human being growing within them. I believe that this is an example of women's role in life. The most important and amazing things we do are done in the quiet solitude of home and family. Like having a child growing within our body, we sacrifice, we accept the unknown and the difficult daily. We are the one sacrificing our "freedom" our physical functions, we are making every effort to provide as well as we are able. We are also the first one to feel life, movement that testifies that things are moving forward. We have the comfort of regular reminders that we are carrying another life but it all happens within us, in the quiet, private solitude of our body.
We continue in life giving of our selves, our bodies in the form of nursing, caring, nurturing, teaching. Each step is done without a regular recognition or public appreciation. We quietly work to create a home life for our husband and children or others that we welcome into our home. They will never know the worry, effort, concern or hope that is spent to create a special environment or event but when we see the joy, the interaction, the building of relations between those we love we get our payday. When we see them succeed in their goals and dreams, we are receiving a raise. It is amazing that these moments are also quiet and somewhat private. They are the moments we treasure in our hearts.
When we learn to treasure these moments, when we learn to recognize the little successes along the way--it all becomes very worth every sleepless night, worry, tear and heart break. We realize that the work we do in the confines of our own home and family truly matter. It all matters so much more than we can see when we are "in the trenches". Our role of woman has a quiet noble power that is underestimated and unappreciated. Even by women. I don't need big celebrations or acknowledgement. I just need the faith to keep trying, to do my best, to trust God's plan for me and for those around me. I don't think we need more things to honor women (like mother's day) because it seems to lead to comparisons that make us feel like we are lacking. I would hope that instead we can, in our quiet and powerful way, support one another, help one another. That we can remember the joy that comes with the roles we fill and let that joy shine forth. I want to be cheerful, kind, courageous and encouraging. I want to show my daughters that this role of woman is an opportunity, an amazing blessing that we get to be a part of. It is what we are made for. To have a quiet, constant influence in the lives of those we love most. To call upon God for strength and courage and then to take those steps into the dark knowing that he is with us. He will light the way. He will magnify our efforts. We get to partner with Him. And with him, nothing is impossible.
Its true that a mother is only as happy as her saddest child. We feel so much of the pain and sorrow that we see others going through. Its hard. I really like Meg Johnson. Her life has not turned out the way she planned but she is able to celebrate all that she is able to do and in doing so, she helps others to see the good in their lives and the blessings of life no matter what we are celebrating, enduring, or quietly working on.
My hope is to receive in a gracious way the gift of being a woman and in receiving that gift and all the work that comes with it, I can also learn how to properly use the power and infinite good that comes from faith, trust, and loving the life I am given and helping to create with His grace and patience.
I love family time. It is those quiet moments when we don't have the distractions of devices. Those moments when we let all the other worries and responsibilities alone and choose to be present. When we choose family time we strengthen relationships. It is so validating and good to have someone choose you. It is huge to be able to give that gift to my children, my husband.
yard work
I do find that the distractions of daily living take over unless we make an effort. Family time can look different at different times. I love when my family comes together for a project. Our most recent project has been wedding preparations. We have been house cleaning, baking, doing big yard projects. I have come to know that family work time has many benefits. It creates a unified front when we have big things to face. It teaches loyalty, work ethic, family unity and being able to depend on each other. It helps a child know that they have an ability to help in ways that truly bless the family. That we need each of them.
new shrubs
Family fun time can include work time together. When we can make work fun, singing, teasing, laughing then it becomes fun time too. As the work goals are reached then the fun is so much more rewarding as you head out to get shakes or plan a special movie night. We don't go out very much to eat, recreate . . . I think I would like to do it more often. It is fun that it is not a common thing, its special. "Special" needs to be planned into the schedule also. Making time together to just play has huge benefits also. It says I want to be with you. I am willing to spend (or make) free time to be with you. You are important to me. I like being with you. I want to share with you the things I love and I want to understand the things you love.
and lots of spreading of bark for mulch
Sometimes it is the hard times that bring you together in unique ways. When you take time to build relationships then when the hard times hit...dumb comments, big mistakes, hurtful actions, accidentally damaging something of theirs... then the people are more important than the things or being right.
All of it seems to be about spending time and building relationships. Its the little things that slowly builds a family. Its the daily interactions, the chores, the conversations - long and short. It is taking time to eat together, pray together, check in and ask about their day. Its being willing to apologize, to forgive, to freely give hugs and smiles.
cake rolls for the wedding dinner
Some things we like to do include
backyard hot dog roasts
cousins over for Sunday sundaes
hiking in the nearby hills
rock climbing
picnics
boating
quality movies at home (I am tempted to try http://pureflix.com. They have a free month going right now) I love movies that celebrate family, faith, life and leave you feeling good.
service projects
Sunday dinner with the married kids coming home.
game night with old fashion card games or guesstures.
Learning a new game
watching a sport event that one or more of us is in
supporting concerts, recitals, performances
vacation destinations that include visiting extended family or meeting them there.
shot gun shooting
jumping on the trampoline
playing kick ball at the park
flying a kite
visiting baby animals
floor ball at the church gym
enjoying a good read aloud or listening to an audio book.
a drive up the mountains to see the leaves
camping
We do live in a small community. There are not lots of choices of places to go and pay for fun but we have learned to make our own fun. There is so much to do and enjoy if you just look around, find something that interests someone and you may find a passion for a new activity that you can do together or support each other in.
I am learning that in my desire to know and understand more of light, to have more light, I also have to be exposed to darkness. It is the side I did not want to see. God did not create darkness. He created light and he gave us many forms of light - the sun, moon, the stars, His son, the light of Christ that can shine through each of us. If it were not for the dark we would not recognize or appreciate the light as fully. It is because we have darkness that we can crave the light.
It is when we seek for light that we better see it in others. It is when we are experiencing dark that we crave the light and draw closer to our Savior. We have been feasting on these Bible videos.
As I watched this video this morning I learned that in Peter and in Jesus we have examples of dark and light. Here is what I mean. Peter was anxious and convinced that he was ready to follow Jesus anywhere through anything. Jesus knew Peter had some learning to do, some refining. Peter would experience fear, doubt, cowardliness, shame, possibly despair. He still turned to God, sought out the light and became a light. I think because he had been through such hard, difficult dark times he was very committed to doing all he could to stay with the light. He knew Jesus had prayed for him and believed in him. His own mistakes took him to dark but then he chose God's way. HIS way is the path that leads to happiness in this life and eternal life in the world to come.
Jesus also declared his desire to bring glory to his father. He remembers how things were before the world was. He came to earth to experience mortality. He had done all he had been asked and done it perfectly. He also experienced a great darkness. The darkness he experienced was not because of his own mistakes but that of others. As he paid the price for our sins he experienced the very darkest of dark. Now he has the glory of God. Now we can say "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." (Phil 4:13) He is the Light of the world.
My feeling is that we all need to experience dark. We don't all need to sin to experience difficult times. We are taught through our own choices or those of others. In my efforts to learn more of light my Heavenly Father has allowed me to experience some dark times that have been hard. People I admire who make poor choices. Family members who experience hard times that I can't make better. Heartache and pain in ways I never wanted to have to know, I now know about. It is hard but I am never left alone. Even when things feel darkest there are still stars shining and leading the way. Even when I am down there are little tender mercies that remind me that I am not alone, that I am loved, that I can survive. And in maintaining hope I receive a glimpse of the joy ahead and I don't have to be in that perfect place or situation to begin to feel joy again. Hope brings joy with it.
Some of the tender mercies have been in the words of songs that repeat in my mind:
"I know who I am. I know God's plan. I follow Him in faith"
"I stand for truth and righteousness"
"As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord"
"A mighty fortress is my God"
"...but this life is the test"
"Climb every mountain, ford every stream..."
Scriptures that remind me that after the dark comes the light. Repentance is possible. Healing is possible for the sinner, the victim, and those who love both of them.
Though they be scarlet they can be white as snow.
He will wipe away every tear.
His hand is stretched out still.
Be still and know that I am God.
I am thrilled to see the power of love. It isn't always easy to love but Jesus helps us with that too. We can lean on him as we learn to love through the hard times. There is power in priesthood blessings. Power in a mother's prayer. Power in family, especially a family united in their desire to faithfully keep covenants and rely on the atonement of Jesus Christ.
And there is power in just keeping on. Getting up again each day. Putting on a smile. Following through with responsibilities even when we just would rather stay in bed. Reaching out to serve when we think we have nothing left to give and finding that our sacrifice is rewarded by filling us with more than we though possible. Faith. Hope. Charity. They each are essential to life and truly living in this world. That is how we endure. That is how we not only survive but thrive. That is how we get through the dark and can bask in the light. I will continue to seek the Light of Christ.
Please don't compare, but seek to learn and apply eternal principles as you wad through the furnace of your own afflictions.
--may I suggest that your personal struggles--you individual sorrows, pains, tribulations, infirmities of every kind--are all known to our Father in Heaven and to His Son. Take courage! Have faith! And believe in the promises of God!
And then he quotes Elder Maxwell
"Certain forms of suffering, endured well, can actually be ennobling... Part of enduring well consists of being meek enough, amid our suffering to learn from our relevant experiences. Rather than simply passing through these things, they must pass through us . . . in ways which sanctify us."
I am so grateful that "We can take strength in knowing that all the hard experiences in this life are temporary; even the darkest nights turn into dawn for the faithful."
I love these 2 days of General Conference. We prepare. We pray for those who will be speaking. We pray that we may be ready to receive guidance and counsel, understanding and courage. We make things to eat like deviled eggs, cookies, crackers and dip. Usually we have printed off some pages for the kids but not this year. This year at 10 am on Saturday they had notebooks and the tv going. I grabbed my stuff and caught up quick. There was some dozing so we let them expand a little. Out came the legos that have not been touched for several years and the boys quietly built trucks and trailers. Debbie and Emily colored in those beautiful coloring books or drew their own pictures. I took notes and worked on some knitting. We all stayed awake and did better. Ella kept Grandpa awake.
Simeon and Isaac building with legos
Its not that we don't enjoy the speakers cuz we really DO. Its just that it is a rather intense day of information and a lot to take in all at once. I am so grateful that we can review throughout the next six months via lds.org, mormonchannel.org, our Ensign conference issue and the notes we have taken.
Add caption
Normal we invite any and all family over. I did not invite anyone this time. I was tired and didn't want to be in charge although I did try to specify that anyone that wanted to show up was welcome. We did finally get some visitors Sunday afternoon and evening and we loved the visit.
Debbie drawing and listening
Some of the messages that I thought were particularly directed to me involved the need to love others, have courage, and learn to do the basics of gospel living and then keep on doing them. Even when we aren't sure why we just keep on choosing the right through faith and it all works for our good. God is so good. He loves us so much.
Ella and Grandpa
I prayed for an ongoing health challenge and how to find answers. I received "watch for evidence that He is leading, guiding, and walking beside me."
I am studying and seeking light. I received "Receive the light, seek the light, follow the light." and "there is Sunshine in my Soul Today with additional sources of light and truth shared through music.
I have been feeling down and I was told "Look up. Don't look around comparing or looking for your value from others, look up to Christ.
I have had some family struggles and worried about members of my family and I was reminded "we are an eternal family!" We are built to last and we will keep doing our best. If we can't be together as much as we might like now, its ok because we have eternity.
I worry if I'm doing things right and Elder Rasband said "let the Holy Spirit guide" My responsibility is to recognize promptings and follow them. I can be willing.
Mary, the mother of Jesus, is one of my heroes. I loved hearing about her from Elder Clayton. I, too, can have thoughtful confidence in the timing of the Lord.
I have seen success in my efforts to live the gospel and teach my family. It's okay to celebrate success and share what has worked for us. Maybe I can help others through my experiences.
I have a heritage of goodness and enjoyed hearing about Parley P. Pratt. We build faith by the little steps we take. We learn from the refining trials that we have. We can forgive quickly and love others.
As I listened to the LDS General Women's conference and reviewed in my notes from other speakers I feel so comforted. So a while ago I heard Sister Tammy Runia speak.
This shall give they experience. A chance to test that which we have been taught
You can't always get what you want but sometimes you get what you need
Not understanding is not the same as not believing. Use your eye of faith and trust Him.
Say "no" to discouragement. Say "yes" to growing.
And then tonight I heard from Bonnie Cordon
In all they ways acknowledge him!
Trust him
Lean not unto thy own understanding
It's not about me. Look for opportunities to serve
and Carol McConkie
When we choose that good part it will not be taken from us.
and Linda Burton
Be one of those Certain Women that were disciples of Christ
be willing to sacrifice and count the blessings while you are sacrificing
and finally President Henry B. Eyring
Ether 12:27 27 And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.
Becoming aware of weakness is a blessing that allows me to grow and turns me to my Savior
My Father in Heaven is more concerned with upward progress than comfort.
He also spoke of how the Holy Ghost helps us see the greatness in others. I believe he helps us see that we also have value and even greatness.
As I shared my recent experiences with emotions, mental confusion and doubts I am comforted because I can see the same pattern spoken of here. I was given experiences that were hard, that invited me to turn to Christ. I can trust him. I don't have to understand all of it to be able to gain growth and peace from it or even during the difficult times when my weaknesses are shining brightly. I will choose that good part! I will rejoice in it. I will take comfort that as I choose Christ, that good part will not be taken from me but will bless and strengthen me. I truly can do all things through Christ Jesus who strengthens me. And he sends angels to strengthen me.
I was in a very poor place. I have been tired (naps at least twice a day) and craving junk but feeling guilty. I have been gaining weight. I have been sad, angry, disappointed and quick tempered. I felt like I was drowning. I wanted to stay in my room, watch movies. Reading was challenging and I felt left out of scripture study because I just couldn't concentrate and didn't feel like I was connecting with the spirit. Thankfully I have a loving Heavenly Father watching out for me. My husband was out of town when a dear friend took time to just visit with me. (Thanks, Shelly) It was nice. It was the next day when another friend started chatting with me on facebook. She sold me some vitamins a while ago that help with getting good nutrients to the brain. I had taken some for a while but didn't see any change so I had backed off quite a bit. She had me put some in yogurt and take them right away. That let them get into my system quickly. Within half an hour the tears that came so easily had stopped. That evening I went to the Relief Society birthday party that I had been dreading and I smiled. I smiled. I liked smiling. I even liked people and I have wanted to avoid all people lately, even my own family. As I felt better everyone else seemed better to me. I wanted them to be happy. I saw good in them. It was nice.
I don't know if I had depression. I don't know a lot about those issues. I do know that I was sinking and wanting to do less and less with life. It is a crazy feeling. I feel so much better. I am taking my vitamins and have no desire to take less again. I don't want to be dependent on vitamins to function well but the alternative of sinking is not what I want either. To think that giving my brain the nutrients it needs make so much of a difference in how I feel, how I function, and my outlook on life is amazing. I am still working my way back up. I took one nap today and I loved it. It wasn't so much an escape as a reward as I rested with the window open and the fresh rain air. My family has been so patient in this path to recovery for me. I am thankful for them. I thought I was doing well and that this is as good as it gets - "the new normal" but I am so happy to find out that I can be happy again. I am excited to see what the next couple of months may bring but I today feel an increase in light in my life and I feel certain that light and truth will accompany my well functioning mind. I don't know if the accident affected my ability to think clearly or if it just helped me realize that I was not reaching my potential. I do hope and pray that I am on the right path. That as I learn to enjoy this life and existing and even thriving on this planet that I can embrace purpose and meaning. I want to be happy. I want to be a light and not a dark cloud. I want to be useful and cheerful and have the ability to see the good in all things. I want to fully trust my Savior. He understands and he is helping me.
I am realizing that if I hadn't gotten so low I would not have seen the difference. Without the lows, I wouldn't enjoy or even recognize the improvement. I needed the opposition to better see the good that was mine for the taking (or receiving). Really we are given everything and it is up to us to receive the good, the gifts, the love of our Father in Heaven. He even gave me some amazing lessons so that I could be even better and feel better again.
Grateful
- Q Sciences is where to get information on the vitamins that have helped me. If you want to know more, I can help.
- patient people
- the reminder that we all have hard things and I have people that were patient with me.
- I have a desire to be more patient with others as they figure out where they are and what they need.
