Somebody Said

Somebody Said It Couldn’t Be Done

Somebody said it couldn’t be done,

But he with a chuckle replied

That maybe it couldn’t, but he would be one

Who wouldn’t say so till he’d tried.

He waded right in with a trace of a grin

On his face-if he worried he hid it.

He started to sing as he tackled the thing

That couldn’t be done – and he did it.

Somebody said, “Oh, you’ll never do that,

At least no one ever has done it.”

But he took off his coat and he took off his hat,

And the first thing we knew, he’d begun it.

With a lift of the chin and a bit of a grin

Without any doubting or “quit it”,

He started to sing as he tackled the thing

That couldn’t be done – and he did it.

Vibrant

Yesterday my daughter told me I looked good.  I have been told I look thin, better, present.  It was good to be told I look good but then I wondered.  Do I look good because - I took a shower? I'm not in bed? I'm dressed? I'm smiling?

Later that day another daughter told me I looked good. Having thought about it I asked what that means.  She was nice enough to explain.  I no longer looked sick, weak, sallow.  I look healthy, even vibrant.  That makes me feel good.  I am gaining back some of the weight that I lost so quickly. I am also growing in strength and desire. I am up all day. I try to do more things around the house. I walked 3 blocks in one go.  I went to the temple with a friend and I went visiting teaching.  I am coming back to my life and doing things I love.

My sweet husband thinks it would be fun to go on a getaway in December because he has a deal he could get.  I don't want to go.  I like staying home.  I realize I have always been a bit of a home body but I think I especially don't want to leave my family.  The time I have them is so short and things can change so quickly without any warning.  I want to just be with them and be doing things here for the holidays.  I want to enjoy getting ready for Christmas and nights by the fire and a family all home for dinner and maybe secrets whispering around the house about gifts.  I love my husband.  He is so good to me.  I hope he understands that I am still choosing him. I just want a little bit of everything.

Grateful:

vi·brant

• ˈvībrənt/

  adjective

  1. full of energy and enthusiasm.

  
  
• family
• children still at home
• autumn 
• colored leaves
• comfort food
• my neck got shaved
• family vacations

Sundays are great!

We had another wonderful Sabbath day.  Ella Grace was blessed.  She is such a beautiful and loved little girl.  Her parents are just thrilled to be parents and love everything she does and share so much of the joy and cute stuff

We enjoyed a beautiful dinner of taco salads on their back porch.  I sure love having them live in our town. They love taking care of this dear couples home while the couple serves a mission.  It has all worked out so well for us.

I attended 2 sacraments meetings and enjoyed all the family time too.  I am growing in strength and endurance and feel so blessed.  Sundays are special days for me when I feel the love of others and immense gratitude for people and for my Heavenly Father and especially for my Savior Jesus Christ.  The songs of the restoration speak comfort and truth to my soul and I often end up crying through the first 15 minutes of our meetings as I try to sing or just listen to the truths of the opening and sacrament songs.  Today I so enjoy "I Stand All Amazed".  I truly am amazed as I think about His great love for me, for all that he has done and does for me.  That for me, a sinner, he suffered, he bled and died.  Then to partake of the sacrament.  My body was broken in just a small way and he is the one helping me heal.  As I pondered on the bread and the water that represent His broken body and his blood, each done for me, I am so amazed and grateful.  I am sorry for the pain but I know He is not.  He would do it again. He would do it even if it were just for me.  He rejoices as we turn to him and accept His gift of the atonement.  He has paid the price. I am bought by Him.  I stand all amazed!

I also got to bear my testimony.  As I tried to express my gratitude for the many people that offered their faith and prayers in my behalf the Spirit began to teach me of my value and worth.  I shared the words of the song "I Know That My Savior Loves Me" verse 2 and the chorus. I do know my Savior loves me.  Each day I will follow his way. I know this is the way to happiness in this life and I am so grateful

I also thought about the tender care I have received from the men in my family.  In sacrament meeting I sat between Milt and Dane and felt supported, cared for, and protected.  As I consider this I am mindful that it really goes beyond the bench at church.  I have men, honest, good, Godly men that I can lean on for support, protection and care.  I have righteous sons and sons in law that willingly serve and help in so many ways.  I am so grateful for a world full of good men and especially for my family of good men and boys who are taught to love and honor women, even me.

Grateful:

• Sundays
• music of the restoration
• power of grace
• Godly men

Even just a moment

I have some feelings that I have wanted to share but hoped not to be misunderstood.  As I have faced the very real possibility of death I have been able to do so without fear. As I learn how close I was I did not have feelings of "Oh no, I need to ..."  That feeling of peace has brought me comfort.  My hope is that the choices I am making in life are truly pleasing my Heavenly Father.  I have tried to live, love, and care for relationships in  a spirit consistent with my Savior's love.  I am not perfect but I have tried to do what I knew to be right, doing the best I know how.

In a talk on the radio this morning he mentioned that God is not so concerned with our distance as with our direction.  I think that is the reason for the peace I have felt.  I may not be anywhere close to perfect but I am pointed in that direction. My goal is to be perfected in Christ.  Only with him can I ever even come close but he knows the desires of my heart.  He knows I want to be like him and as I stumble and bumble along in my efforts he probably laughs a little, picks me up when I fall, shares a helpful tidbit and lets me try again.  I am here to try. He is here to save.  I am here to do what I can, to do my best.

We are all at our own distance but He knows each one of us. We can choose the direction we face, the direction we are headed. He tailors our experiences here to give us every chance we need to learn and then he is there to help us.  He is the one true God and His way is The Way but that doesn't mean it looks the same for each of us.  He helps the one.  He helps me and loves me and cares about what I care about. He hears my prayers and no matter how shallow or silly they may seem, he answers me.

I don't know why I am here.  He does. I am still here in great part because of the faith and prayers of good people. I will move forward in faith, watching for direction and opportunity to make a difference in small and simple ways.  I will work on becoming all that He would have me be.  That is all I really need  I don't feel the need to be or do something big and amazing. I believe that there are plenty of things we can do that are small and everyday things that add up to making a real difference in the lives of those we know and touch.  That is enough for me.  If I can lighten a load, brighten a day, bless a life by word or deed then I will count it a success.  I have felt the love and help of angels seen and unseen.  Maybe I can be an answer to a prayer.  Maybe I can be an angel to someone for even just a moment.

Grateful:

• I was able to cut my husbands hair this morning
• I decided flies have been a blessing in that they make me exercise my ability to focus as I try to chase them down.
• Today my 8th grandchild, Ella Grace, will be blessed by her father.
• I love testimony meeting.

I'm still here

Yesterday I had my follow up appointment with Dr. MacDonald.  He said I was doing fine, reviewed with my what was done and suggested that anything I do that is faster than I can run should be done with a helmet on.  I think I should find a good comfortable helmet, not my favorite thing but neither are head injuries.

I've learned a lot about that first day.  As Dr. MacDonald shared what was done he mentions the seriousness of the injury.  Apparently there are 3 layers that surround the brain.  The layer closest to the skull is also the thickest, like leather. It adheres to the skull.  My injury caused this epidural layer to rip away from the skull creating a pocket where blood pooled and clotted putting dangerous pressure on the cerebrum.  He said when he began surgery I was already dying.  I started asking more questions.  Apparently the ER doctor's first notes were "Patient is unresponsive and organs are shutting down." My sister told me that they were discussing how to harvest my organs when Dr. MacDonald came in, looked at my eyes and immediately took me into surgery.  While all this scares me a little bit I am learning to be grateful that I am still here, very grateful. I tried to thank the doctor but he seemed very uncomfortable with my efforts. I feel very grateful that my loving Heavenly Father heard and answered the prayers of my family. I have learned that it would have been very hard on them. I love to think about the ways that everything came together to save me. When I fell no one was around but very soon my sister found me.  She did not hesitate to call an ambulance. The doctor and his team happened to be there, recognized what needed to be done and did it. The outcome could have and maybe should have been different but I am so very grateful to be given a chance to keep living.  I am slower now. I am learning patience but I am also experiencing wonder. Wonder of the world around me, wonder at the amazing people that care about me and continue to serve and love me. I have a sense of wonder as I learn about the atonement of Jesus Christ and the many ways it can help me. I am amazed at so many people who have valiantly gone through challenges and continue to move forward. There is much good in the world.  There is a place for seeing the good, loving others, being an answer to prayers.

I am still here.  I get to keep serving and loving and being.  I get to see my family learn and grow. They are amazing and I am seeing a whole new side of them for which I am grateful.  I like my family and I want them to know that I love them and enjoy them.  It is not about me. It is about submitting to the will of my Father and loving others.

Some great songs
It's gonna be okay piano guys
Beautiful you
Hillary Weeks: Love your Life
Kenneth Cope - Broken
Priceless

Grateful:

• I shaved my legs standing up
• I got a foot zone and learned a lot of good stuff
• I spent the day with Emily and her appointment went well
• I visited my sister Julie and we laid around comparing symptoms and struggles and wish we could find answers.
• I figured out that my horrible cough was a result of walnuts
• I can read. My eyes are settling down..
• update:  3/7/17 I have since learned that the part about harvesting organs was not true.  I am glad.  It was hard for me to think about.
• 
  

Look up. Wednesday.

In a recent conference talk we were told it is better to look up.  That has become really hard for me. When I look up, I get dizzy.  I almost feel nauseous. I tend to glance up and then just reach without looking and hope for the best.  It is not ideal but as I thought about this I realize that I still need to find my way of looking up.

The best way for me to safely look up is to first lie down.  If I lie on my back I can look up and enjoy it.

We each need to find a way to look up.  For me looking up includes simplifying.  Getting rid of other distractions. Giving my whole self to the effort of looking up and connecting with my creator is the best way for me at this time.  I must admit that looking for inspiration doesn't just happen when I am looking up but the idea that I might need to clear my space of the noise and distractions so that I might better be in tune with the spirit makes sense to me.

The view from my bedroom window.  I love Fall.

 I sure love when the little things or people around me remind me of our need to create beauty.  Sweet Debbie (10yo) started decorating for Fall.  She has done a beautiful job creating beauty and celebrating the new season.  I do love the colored leaves, the harvest, and the many signs of God's love in hope for plenty to see us through the winter and on to a beautiful spring.  Life is good.

Update on me - I am learning patience.  I get so tired of days that seem to be just endured. Time passing and not being able to do the things I want to do.  I do try and do at least something every day but it wears me out.  I went to the chiropractor yesterday and he reminded me that I am doing well and that he is just glad that I am still alive.  He helped me put things in perspective.  I don't want to take for granted this gift of life and of seeing my family grow and of being here to receive the love and goodness of so many people.  I had several fun visitors who also helped me see that there are small steps of progression. I especially enjoy visits with Laurie.  We talk about things of substance and strengthen on another with our path of growth.  I am getting stronger and better.  I might try reading more. I am hoping my eyes are learning to focus though when in the car I often see double in the oncoming traffic.  We will celebrate as my eye site improves.

Grateful:

• kind friends
• kind words
• others helping me see the good and the progress
• clean counters
• texts and phone calls
• shared insights

Sunday

I enjoyed a lazy morning listening to the Sounds of Sunday, speakers, an old talk by President Monson and a good soak in my tub.  The high light of my morning was rediscovering Stephanie Nielsen.  She has learned to see past the challenges and celebrate the joys of family life and of creation.  I love her attitude in celebrating the simple things each day.  I have a family. They are beautiful, fun, kind, and I get to be home with them and watch them learn and grow.  I am so grateful that my Milt has supported me in staying home all these years.  He values the work I do and the effort I make to raise up righteous children and to give them a happy childhood.

I made it again to sacrament meeting and was so grateful to renew my covenants and think about my Savior and his atonement.  I was super weepy and cried at each song.  Music speaks to me and opens my eyes to new ways of understand and brings me comfort.  I am so grateful for the hymns of Zion.

Grateful:

• good music
• kind people that came up to me and talked to me in church
• VT companion who is taking care of our sisters
• cub master who is taking care of my Webelos troop.